Forever, Im yours....

Date: Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Time: 2:47 PM

Ego

Something bothers me the whole day today...

Something that is in me that set me to think...

Sometimes i find myself confused..

Growing older but still my attitude varies from time to time..

I didnt mean to hurt anyone with my ego..

Maybe life and experience pull me down so much..

And there's where my ego comes about..

I wonder..

Will my ego let him think otherwise about me?

Can he accept that little imperfection of mine...

But for im really sure..

I will try my very best to minimise this ego in me...

Hey past..

Ive buried you down ..

And im pretty sure, you're dead..

If you comes back alive i will assure you will dies with my own bare hands...

So stay down there and dont move a inch..

My apology to you..

For im really sure,

you've been thinking about my ego..

I didnt mean it...

From the bottom of my heart, i dont wish you to face me now after all those bad times i had before you..Cuz i noe its unfair to you...

I felt realy,really bad...

And for your assurance i will tappered it down..

i mind about it cuz its for our benefits too..

I thank god that it was you that handle me..

And i finally found someone who knows my weakness

but still never he wanna take advantage of it..

never he leaves hanging with no reasons on my weakness..

Thank you for bringing up things in me..

I will be better cuz i know you will be there,

never let me go and you're staying with me...

Dear Allah..

I went through so much hurt, hard times and pain all this while..

By sending him to me now, makes my life meaningful..

Please dont take him away from me..

All i need is his words, present and touch...

Ill be crippled without him...

So please.....dont take anything away from me..

For at least...

Allow me treasure and cherished him while i can...

I wanna grow old with him..

And watch our kids grow with him..

Lastly, i wanna catch my last breathe

in his arm and with our kids around...

Please....

Amin....

p/s: iloveyou superhero

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Date: Monday, February 22, 2010
Time: 1:07 AM

Sweet and sour:)

Its that the choice you gave me??
You effing know i wont heed it...
Im all old enough and not to be treated like a child..
Im not primary school students that need to be spoon feed all the time...

I am the one who face all those chaos all this while..
You're not even there when times are hard for me..
Hell yah..thanks for helping me to get my new lappy..
Thanks for everything and that was before..
For like finally, i realise now...i was wrong..
You set me to think...
I thought you could understand but...
Sadly..ure not...
As you wishlah huh...
Penalyse me all you want..
Dont worry, im good at holding on to things..
And you know couldnt care -a-less..
So be it!!!

I met my Jacen yesterday...
Didnt turn for my morning shift cuz im having diarrhoea..
Pain sey my bontot...:((
He send to the doctor and im all fine today...
Thank you sayang...:))
so sweet if him..
We almost had tiff because i waited for him all alone at Yishun..
But the best thing about us is...
Each time we gonna have a tiff, we automatically tone down and talk things out..
Susah marikan..:))Sweet skali...
we dont react on impulse cuz we both believe its redundant..
I did had a bad day on sunday..
Thanks to him im all smilling again...
And i know he will always be there for me no matter what..
Im pretty sure he is the one that i need with me..
iloveyou ganteng * handsome in indonesia*

Saturday was great!!
Went to sentosa for tanning..
And guess what!!
My sayang never tan before alright..,
So suci dlm debu sey my sayang..:P
Had his first layer of tanned skin..
The only thing that surprise me is that he turn out to be so redlah...
Lobster boy!!
Cutelah sangat....:))
Good lepark saturday..
Swimming across the pahlawan beach..
Intimidating ppl around us..lol!!
Sorry...:))
Sweet dinner over at marina abd we head back home!:P
another shocking thing is that..
He agree to do a follow up on his tanning session next saturday..
Weeeeeeee!!
See adapting is not that really hard..
Weather you willingly wanna try and adapt it or not..
But i garauntee you sayang...
You will have a nice tanned skin if you bare with it for a couple of sessions..
Tanning is so cooollahhhh..
Jantan kental jer takot panas..bacholz!!
duduk dlm gerobok k??
Jadi tk kene panas..:(

I really miss him alot right now..
Bacin, i cant wait for the ring..:))
and Yeay! Thanks alot for that hubby...
Im so in love with you...<3

Before i end this post..
Afew things i would love to share to my dearest gfs..

My dearest best gf..
U know its kind of hard for you to let it go..
You gave more than just everything to mend up the last break up..
And again it broke again..
Love..even if you think there's no one for you..
You jolly well noe im here..
Im always here..dont keep everything to yourself!!!
You said you moved on..
But i noe its kind off bullshitlah..
You wanted to cry wen u saw me..
So tell me if u effing have let him go already...
Dont lie to me okie..as far as im concern..
You and me, we can nvr hide things from each other..
Sooo plssss..dont do this again..
My prayers will always be with you..
Take care sayang...
U will always be the best gf ever..
Never a bestfriend, never a foe..
Ure my family..:))
loveyou nurulfazlina!!

Fitraa suhaili..
You are still young..
You still have long way to go...
Dont waste it for nothing..
Accept things for the good experience yoy had with that person..
At this age you shud be making more new guy friends..
Just make sure you dont become a bitch sudahlah..
My warning to you!!!
Let him go..sooner or later your prince charming will come for you..
And you know at this young age you should think about enjoying..
Dont waste your tears for something good..
Save it for something better okie!!
Get you feet back on track..
You still have me and FA to rock your ass off..
And you can still carik jodoh at FA..
All the makerl and pumlek are there for you...:))
lol!! Just remember this babe..
This is my strong and sweet advice..
Whatever happens..
Smile:)) and walk away..
Look at the brighter side and set urself a good goal for you to achieve..
You know i will always be there for you..
Sayang kamu..:))
please dont give me sour face the next time i see you at FA!!!:/

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Date: Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Time: 12:01 AM

Love

Im all dead again after sending him back to camp..
Tell me if its enough, my honest answer would be no..
I keep on missing him when i know the time for is so short,
Been through this before, and im pretty sure,
i can make it again this time..its hard, but demi cinta...
I go against all odds, i will persevere this through...

Our weekends, CNY....
damn it! Its like everywhere we go all closed
and PACKED..lucky we have each other to keep each other occupy..:))
Wasnt in a good state of enjoyment, due to work..
I was working on saturday,cny eve..sunday,cny all shop are closed,
mon i have to work and left with today im off..
So tell, do u think i hv enough time??
Hwell no lah..:(
I was hoping for sunday to be a good day..
But due to that stupid casino opening,
we both wknt be able to enjoy our sweet plans..
I was freaking pissed and tell me lah..
U plan a great outing on a perfect off day, his not in camp..
But it was ruin by stupid situation like long queue to enter sentosa,
movie was damn sucks and full house,
shop closed! Like WTF arh...
Thank god we both can hv back up plans lah..
Seriously tk perlu arh situation nie mcm...
Wasted half a day...:(
I blame the organisation for ruining our sweet plan..

Met him today, soo yar..
As usual down to town, grab his adidas top..
Supposed to get his dad's adidas long sleeve top,
but he got for himself instead..b...b...:))
Like korg tgk arh, mcm fuck up kan..
My 2nd off day, tonight he's back iN camp...
Im so angryyyy...://
We did have good talk with each other regarding us..
Apparently, both of us seems to worried bout each other..
But sayang....remember,
no matter what, im here to stay…
and nothing can seperate us....
Im here without you is already hard enough..
So what makes me thing losing you is gonna be easy..
I bet if that were bound to happen, it will be toughest idiot thing for me to face...
And you the answer to all the question that you wanna prompt to me..
I will stay rooted to all my decision..
Its fixed and nothing can sucked me down..
Even how hard they try...

Ya Allah,
Ku mohon padamu tuhan..
Kau kuatkanlah semangat hamba mu ini..
Berikanlah kedua hambmamu ini keselesaan
untuk meneruskan bahtera cinta ini..
Kau restukanlah perhubungan kami..
Kau tunjukkanlah kami kejalan yg kau redhai..
Kurniakankah kami dgn hati yg cekal agar dpt kami tempuhi segaka rintangan..
Ya allah..
Sesunggihnyer kami ini hambamu yg lemah..
Kau bantulah kami ya tuhan..
Kami mohon...
Amin...

P/S: My cinta..our love remains the same....
And you very well that i wont let our love fray,
that easily no matter what...
I will be right here waiting for you..
Cuz you deserve my waiting...:)
iloveyou jacen alvarez....

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Date: Saturday, February 13, 2010
Time: 2:07 PM

jeng,jeng..kejeng...!

Alright....last week was a well planned week..:))

Did my boyfriend's birthday surprise over at khairah' crib..

Through the whole i did a couple of surprise for him..

I gave him his birhday present in advance..

He wasnt expecting it to be the replacement of his Rusty ring that he lost over at Sentosa...

(I was pissed lah!)
But sayang...i replace it with a new ring..:))

Calvin Klein Jeans Jewellery..

Towards the end of the week..on Fri we went out our norms..

Then on Saturday i gave him another birthday surrprise..

A bake him a brownie cake just for my dear2..

hahahaha! It was a success alright..

Sorry girls who cant bake for nuts..:P

We head down to town..
To have or dinner and we head home after fish and co..
It was pleasant birthday surprise for him..
i do hope he likes it..
But im sure he likes..right sayang..?
hehehehe!

For im sure....i really enjoy every weekend i have with him..
Like this week..long weekends..
Its like...weekend there's always things to do without fail...
TGI its weekend..!
Im sooooo gonnna look forward for tommorows outing..
We are going over to Sentosa and hopefully Max brenner wish come true..:((
(Only if they open during CNY, im praying...:\)
Hell yar! Bought myself new bikz from rippycurly..
Damn! Thanks to deary! God! I love it!
Soooo gonna put it on...i likkkeee...:P

Can i request everyday will be like this for me and him..?
But too bad, i dun think so i can have that opportunity..
Cuz....he's off to tekong for 3 months for instructing and ill be stuck in school for FYP..
So salah!!!!jeng, jeng..kejeng tol!
Okkie..like today...im updating this pathetic blog over at the office..
Lepak kan...cny eve...
Not much participants...and so, i can duduk mkn gaki buta...!
8 buck per hour facebooking and updating blog..
baik kaper?
K..he's fetching me soon..for movie and dinner...:P
Sayang quick wake up!

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