Forever, Im yours....

Date: Sunday, August 30, 2009
Time: 1:33 AM

letrum~letrum!

A brilliant week of closing shifts and climbing and a splendid saturday night with two beloved people...thank you:)

I always believe that, everyone has every right to be friend to anyone..so why shud we stop the person from being friend to another person whom she/he comfortable with?dont you think its childish...In fact i encourage people to be friends/make more friends..why addin more digits to the number of enemy in ur life?dont you think ure stewwpit?SO WHATEVALAH GANG! Dont come judge me, cuz you know why...?i dont influence people,its all up to people to decide..okie?fair?

Apart from this...
Ive come to realise people are making use of my kindness and smile as my weakness..The more you make use of me, the more i learn about you,your weakness,your strength and so are you prepared to be kill? Better spread your wings and fly hard before i shoot you down..:)A friend once said...."you always have means and ways to get what you want.."YES! i do!but you wont know what im trying to do..so wait up till ur turn comes..

And its nice seeing people falling in love..sweetnesssss....
So here i sing letrum~letrum~letrum~letrum oh lalala...

Thanks arh di:( (Old from the outside, young in the inside!)

Ohhh soooo nono!

So lets jut focus on one thing at a time Siti..
Cuz my mind is fix and nothing can stop me from my decision...

*u hurt me again..:(*

12 more days...goodbye 21...

0have left cookies for me

Date: Friday, August 28, 2009
Time: 3:52 AM

Make it simple and sweet today....

IF YOU DONT LIKE ME,
DEN GET THAT UGLY ASS FROM MY SIGHT!
TAK SUKER DEN APE LAGI?GY BERAMBOS ARH.....:))

I can make you happy, if you want me to,
I can make you laugh , if you want me to..
Hear your problems and i can be your shoulder to cry on too.. Cuz im just a friend..and dont ask for more..:)

As i mention this to dearest nurul..
I just need time of my own and be happy with the things im doing now...
But i do miss certain things alot but i will let it be in my heart..forever...
Cuz i just couldnt erased it...

Happy Birthday to Syafiqah..
Be a good girl and make sure enjoy ur life while you can k..?Dont be naughty2!
A year older, a year wiser..

And soon its my turn....

12 more days..Goodbye 21...

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Date: Thursday, August 27, 2009
Time: 2:23 AM

When the time comes...

Its been awhile, yet this heart doesnt seems to change...i simply cant find the reason or any solution to this one heart why issit like this...

The rain simply remind me of the memories..
It all started from drizzling and heavy rain pours...
This little things will stay close in my mind...

Only you know why is this heart still shuts...
And this tears will never dry...
Each time the memories come by..
Its hard, but i putting up with it....
And when the time comes,
I just want you to know that..
I love you and i sincerely do...
From beginning to the end<3

13 days, goodbye 21...:(

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Date: Monday, August 24, 2009
Time: 2:27 AM

Fades...

Its too short and sweet to be dump and its too long and precious to get it ditch...
Nothing is easy in life so i shall let it be....If its meant to be like this,i shall put on my smile and walk away...If it is hard for you then im willingly helping you to make it easy..:)

Never i regret having such challenges dashing across my life this much..I learn through the hard way and i will carry on perservere all this craps...Having friends bitching about others here and there, and worse they are a bitch themselves.
Unexpectedly, these people are just like snakes having two heads.You want people to be nice to you,love you and stay with you,but you urself living in your own world with full of shits!

The sincere ones...

Once again you guys came knocking at my door and gives me the opportunity to be a stronger girl internally...For i am just a friend that cant ask for much but im willing to give you more than just a pat on your back or even a smile to brighten up ur sour day...

Im working out and planning what needs to be done to make my life better.
Nothing stops me from thinking...
For if it is true, im glad to hear...
Ill smile and pray...
Once the new one comes along, the old ones fades away....

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Date: Thursday, August 20, 2009
Time: 2:19 AM

seribu memories...

ahhhh...im back from work now and im shagged out from closing shifts...*eyes closing*

But its okie....i did my runs today and i swear sprinting makes me go nuts!Thanks ehk!You ask me to accompany you to run end up u ask to sprint with you!kentot kau! and i sprain my hamstring while i did my 3rd set of running and 4 times of 100m interval sprinting! mcm nk maki ajer..:(( it was fun anyway..nothing beats this cocky idea to train back someone's leg and stamina lah konon!GERAM AKU!

Im here as a neutral friend..i dont come and snatch away friends cuz its all up to individuals to decide who exactly they are comfortable with and they want to be with..and as for me..i love my friends especially those who damn hardcore down to earth ones...i dont mind being alone cuz wen ure alone sometimes, that's the best time you learn how to solve your problem urself and be dependant on ownself...dont be scared to be alone cuz wen u die later, u die alone, u answer all the questions alone..so now better get prepared k?:))

Why do you have to pretend?why do you have to deny?Just to put up a strong front and you know ure not strong enough?why do have to bitch about others wen u know ure the bitch urself?This is what i dont get it about human's...invest so little but demand for more...:((

To all my hardcore ironladies and ironman...(those in my list only, wanna noe who check out urself!)lol! Its nice to be given the chance to have friends like you guys around me...its nice sharing every bit of my experience in life with you guys...i cant afford to ditch any of you out of my life cuz u guys are my precious treasure i will keep with till i die...im still here if you need me, and ill come to you with my arms wide open....

If life isn't as great as it looks den stop denying that you are living ur life to the fullest or even you never felt better...just stop pretending..i dont care if u dun need me, i dont care if u hate me...i can be no one in you ever in ur history,but ure someone in my life and still im just watching you here from far and sending you all my prayers to make sure you are fine in life....insya'allah..

If one day, suddenly everything shutdowns in front of you...close your eyes...and remind urself of all the good things you could remember in life...that will soothe all the hurt away...nothing is wonderful than those memories you owned where it is exclusively only you who have it...:))

Goodnight friends...goodnight you.....goodnight myself....

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Date: Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Time: 2:20 AM

Issues...

Please..let me emphasise this once again dun come judge me if ure not good enough to judge who i am..You talk alot but u learn nothing about me, so i guess you shud fuck off and get a life..Learn who you are first before you could speak up about others..

Was in class today, and it was very funny tt i was in class but i took a time off from all the ppt again and went with fatin and zeeqah..and zaini and aidi tag along to window shop on aidi's new look i guess...but aidi, remember this, dun be a nonok k:)

Dearest Fatin..

Ure lucky to have syahmi, in fact ure lucky to have a guy who thinks like an adult, speak like an adult and behave like an adult at a very young age. And you shud take a every opportunity for what you have in ur possesion right to be a better person.. doesnt mean he's quiet he's not been doing any thinking, i bet he does, alot about you guys....He's the type of guy deserves my salute from the way he handle things and solve things..Ure lucky that he dont make you go around finding solutions to your problem yourself and he is always there to guide you even though i know its hard and irritating so much to see things repeat over and over again..tts norm and if u guys really wanna commit this is just part and parcel of relationship..Just think wat ive said to you this afternoon k love? siti syg fatin and syahmi...work things out slowly...dun waste the effort you guys have been holding from the very first start...

Rush back to holland..and........

I NEVER wanna say it here cuz its gonna be abit aweful if i would to say anything....but closing was great with Nurul, and she noes my sytle at work very well...we both do agree on this...true friends will stay but friends come and go easily even without we noticing it...so im so gonna be extra strong cuz i know nurul will always be there for me wen time are good or bad in my life..i mention this to Nurul and i didnt expect 2 same issue fall on to me at the same time..but im putting up strong front for all this issues, be it hard or easy...

Dearest Nurul,

From Farhan to Firdaus complications ure there to be my listening ear and never failed to worry about me..Im sorry if i ever make you worried about me when suddenly my life is so chaotic from one issue to another issue..And ur never ending advices will always be in my mind..Ure not my second hand friend but ure the true friend tt never leaves me...I swear, it was a heartbreaking session wen i spoke to you today about life and stuff..but im holding on to the faith that im left with currently...i just need a day with you and shop...sperry top sider or fred perry?let we decide again...:) But honestly, im touched wen u say u did miss me love..i miss the night u fetch me at wisma after my work and i miss the perangai kranji waiting for shah at civic..lol!! because of this 2 fellow u keep seeing me in trouble and sad...im sorry nurul...i love you nurul...:(

I wonder if i could still get the chance to meet masturina again, semester is over and im down with lots of shift...im wondering is she doing fine?

Dearest Masturina,

Maybe i might not be there now currently, i felt the missing of a bestfriend in my life..im so busy with life yet i cant stand school modules. I wish i could spend another night with you dancing on the dancefloor, another saturday afternoon keeping me comfort with your warmth hugs and kisses..mas, im sure i miss you alot..if my absence make you feel im leaving you its all not true, in fact im very much busy with my work and i can hardly wake up for morning classes. Im not a different person, is just im pretty much busy with my work and debts tt i need to clear. I do hope i could sit down with you again and hug you like before and laugh our asses off..I will always remember the night we went to st james and you said tt u never felt better talking to me cuz we are just like sister and we do experience the same thing in life by the side of vivo bay...masturina, i love you..i love you alot..please do take care of urself dearest love..muackss:(

Im just not happy with certain things but as everybody knows, i will keep quiet about these issues and i hardly get intimidated by all this craps..because i know im not wrong/and i know what im doing..im not going to give up on things...persevere!!Lastly, why am i the still person people need when they said before, they dun need me? do you know its hurtful...?i just wanna say, dun make me say its too late for everything...cuz for as long i still have my patience with me, grab the chance to realise your stupid mistake...i tot the place i call home is my beautiful home, but it now it slowly turns out to be a haunted house now...

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Date: Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Time: 2:02 AM

Day goes by....

Longer...consistent...persevere..nothing can stop me from this!:))
Apology accepted rhoma...(Siape yang dah lain skrg??!!,kan aku dah marah):)
Loving Khairah, yor care towards me is much appreciated,Sayang Kamu<3
Ruzaini for appreciating me all the time..and mummy sayang kamu jugak!<3
Sukashi and aidi kepala butoh tk abis2,biler mau sayang2?!:D
Another chance to get to set route for fatin,rena and zeeqah again..:p
The closing partner that i want to work with all the time!NURUL FAZLIANA!:))
Part time shift manager?Will Uncle Jason agree?
School...gawd!dont talk about it..im LOA from borrrriiinnnggg school!:(
Mat rempit sejati! perahhhhhh......taking care loh!

Dont be too complacent to all the happiness you own now..
Because wen the time is up, HE will take back everything from you...<3

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Date: Monday, August 17, 2009
Time: 12:58 AM

Try harder....

You can really try hard to run away from me but you can never be able to hide things from me..And finally, my piece of sincere advice, stop pretending...
when you deal with me, you have no choice...and lastly, i give you no choice...so there's no choice of you to run away from me... lau aku salah aku lari jauh2 y, tapi lau aku tk salah aku stay depan biji mata kau pasal aku tk takot dgn kesalahan...i dont wanna bring up every little details about you and me here cuz, if i share people wont believe me,not until they experience it by themselves..so lets play fair game, ill share abit and let the rest explore themselves...

Someone told me this, manusia lau dah terberak kat tgh jln, mane dier nk mengaku..dier buat dek suah..!!hahaha but i guess tts true..well said my love...Some people might not noe what really happen about anything, if u dun noe den dun come judge me and jgn mcm PHM..nk tau cerita meh dtg duduk minom kopi dgn aku siap oreo cheesecake lagi y...

The most important thing, im still standing tall right here and waiting for the right day to proceed with my life...thanks to people like masturina,zaini,khairah,etty,fatin,sukashi,aidi,aidil and my dearest sister...

Let me say this once and for all...
You dont know what you want cuz you cant decide, you dont know who you are cuz u make people confused by who you are..and stop saying others change when you dont see that ure the one that change...im sorry, i gotta be mean this time cuz you dont know how to appreciate friends and good things around you..you can hate me but i never hate you...

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Date: Monday, August 10, 2009
Time: 3:36 PM

Inilah persahabatan....

Persahabatan itu
augerah
persahabatan itu
persaudaraan sesama insan

Persahabatan itu
terjalin apabila
terjadinya pertemuan

Persahabatan itu
adalah persaudaraan
yang akrab
atas dasar-dasar
ketulusan keikhlasan kejujuran
dan erti persahabatan yang
tulus suci berpaksikan keimanan

Dan persahabatan itu
adalah amanah
seorang sahabat
di dalam menjalinkan
persahabatan.....

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Date: Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Time: 12:04 PM

Idiot!

Stupid scoundrels!

I hate liars, i hate hypocrites!

Why must you lie to me???WHY??

Knape nk kene tipu aku den aku dpt tau?Tk ke bodoh name nyer tu?

If you are honest with me, i wont be mad arh...

This cater to all the people who thinks im stupid enough to be fool..

Im not gonna say much cuz, im sick and tired of drama mama,

enough of melayu punyer sandiwara...*middle finger in front of your face*.

Jangan sampai aku mangkok, aku jadi mcm sial...aku tgh sabar ehk...

members,brothers, sisters, mother, fuckers aku dah tk heran...!

Dun turn me into an ugly monster..Aku baik jgn pijak kepala aku k?

Perangai yg aku pangkah jgn tunjuk kan aku, nanti dtg aku nyer

bastard menyesal hidup kau aku buat! nk ajer aku sumpah!Arggggghhhhh!!!!

FUCK OFF!!

p/s: Do you noe i noe that ure lying in front of my face??u dun, dont you?From the day you lied i noe i cant trust you and on the same day i noe ure lying?Like i said, if you wanna kill me make sure, im dead...but if im still alive get urself prepared to be knocked out hard by me k?

I FUCKING CANT FORGIVE YOU DESPISE MY WHOLE LIFE!

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Date: Monday, August 3, 2009
Time: 1:34 PM

slow and steady...

Alhamdulilah...i think my patience is well paid off...I went through a very hard time for the past 2 months..Maybe HE really wanna test patience after my break up...it is so hard till i really feel im half dead and i have no direction in life..But i swear...today is the most happiest day after so long ive been waiting...Dun get me wrong, i have no new boyfriend,nothing got to do with man but about my life...

Im way a happy girl today...and i hope i am happier tommorow, next month and until end of this year...Thanks to people who really loves me like how i love them...Thank you for staying with me...be by my side and see me cry almost every day and night...YESTERDAY WAS HELLL!! but today....I SURVIVE..! I always believe in miracles and karma...

Ive climb so many mountains, and the worse part is i always be the one keep on falling from the climb...i think i climb well this time, slow and steady...make use my stamina well and all the skills i have...yes arh! this time i can do dyno on this mountain not anymore normal climbing dude!

Thank you to people who make me suffer..i really thank you..thanking you for making me to be more strong and give my all in life with no limits.. I never regret for what ive done,never regret wat ive lost..cuz i believe, ive done my part till today i still do it...but can you see it?no right...

I will keep on smilling...smilling to you...and i do hope you will smile at me back if you regain back ur vision...(my smile is asking for serenity)I will keep my cool and stay stronger and hold my patience.

Ure high up, im way below..but im prepared...

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Date: Sunday, August 2, 2009
Time: 2:43 AM

ehk miss arh!

Because im late waiting for people,i only get to watch the fireworks last minute...but truely,thank you...from the bottom of my heart...i guess i just enjoy the fireworks too much i neglect everyone behind,in front and beside me...lol!!! Couldnt be bothered couples kissing beside me under the fireworks..cuz i believe im happier watching the brilliant fireworks without being interrupted with any kisses...after fireworks can kiss2 k?semaklah...no wonder there's alot hogging during fireworks..

I dont believe in nothing is impossible in life..If things gotta happen, it have to happen..The things is, does my face look arrogant?nah...im just neutral..Dun judge by my look cuz i aint that kind of person. The possibility that things will happen according to prediction is medium to high possibility..But yet, assumption is bad...so lets just have fun and shoppin'...again..i waste the cash on zara and esprit..but tts all i can do to get it of the pain im holding on...

girls + shoppin' = everything!!

Wanna win this heart..?gotta to do it the hard way now...it aint easy how people think...for now, this time...it hurts alot!!!alot!!!cuz i just realise..wen im totally in trouble and deep2 problem, im here putting things up alone..no one is beside me to give the support..haiya! UNFAIR!..but im cool...for as long im still alive, ill work on things slowly...i feel biased and unfairly treated..

To whoever it may concern....

For all i care...im ready to be killed, and im well prepared this time...wanna see me fall, better do it dilligently, if i can still run and alive, let me say this to you.."watch your back, cuz wen im after you this time i give no mercy." wanna kill me make sure im totally dead and dun find me still breathing...

You and me, we are done pretending...

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