audrealita's scribbles.

kesian....

2010-11-22T21:38:00.001+08:00

Dahlah pecah...bowdow pulak...Next tyme sekolah tinggi-tinggi...Lau malu bertanye, sesat perjalanan...Aku kesian tgk org mcm gini..Bring no benefits, but induce troubles to others....nanti sendiri susah, cengeng...Nak step fierce, bebual mcm champion...The past konon...sap buah pelih smpi kecot nyaaah...Lu waste ma tyme...Ewww..lu aper classsss??

am i right?

2010-11-22T15:58:00.002+08:00

Attachment have the most bitchiest thang i ever what i wanna share...
Fuck this company, i swear...i wonder how the hell they can survive for this 3 years..
I swear, if anyone were to ask me what have i learn after my attachment...
I would prolly answer "I learn how to be more demanding and stuck up!"
Serious...after this 3 months, im so gonna rate out that company online...
MY REAL EXPERIENCE!:)
Wait lah k.....now i wont share how much stuff...

2 more months to the end of attachment,
1 more month to our 1 year annivesary...
HELL yeah!!! I know....!
You hate it, its cool, FUCK YOU!

I never thought girls like you exist...
I do understand these girls exist but why the heck they can live this very long..
Shucks! Farking irritating!
I seriously got the urge to humban this idiot off the cliff..
Babe, lawa jer tk guna sey...
tapi kalau hati kau busok!
Sumpah...!kau besar punye pembawa penyakit...
tolong ehy! bukan dgn aku pls!
lu goyang tk goyang..tu lu punye seluar dlam miffy!
tapi lau lu dah sort gua punye wire,
lu wait till the time come,
let me show you what i can do....:)
im serious...no joke...
akak panassss dek oi!!!-,-

To boyfrend,
Im waiting for the right time for you to say something...
im going to get angry you know...
Later when i get angry, i go to gucci shop..
buy $5000 bag, take the $5000 cash, go to the bank...change to 10 cent coin
go back to the counter, you count..!
I cannot take it anymore!!!:(
But dont worry bby, i sayang you...i cinta you..i love you....
And if anyone dont agree how i say i love you...
then go and mampos for all i care...

p/s: lu dari start menyusahkan org...dah game over pon menyusahkan org...hidop kau menyusahkan org per?? lau tau kau tu menyusahkan tolong berambos pon chantek!
LU SEMAK ARH MINAH!!!

whataya want from us?!

2010-11-21T21:16:00.001+08:00

Whatsup babe!? What do you really want from us?? You envy our relationship dont you? You envy the happiness i gave him all this while dont you..? I know you have been keeping track of our relationship..as much as you wanna prove to people ard to know, you did nothing wrong...but this prove me so much about you, you just dont have the high level of tolerance..you thought you can make it but your thoughts was all wrong..I dont pretty understand, what more are you asking?? Attention?? Wealth?? Or Lust?? Prolly you might wanna know this young girl, ure absolutely a naive and never once you convince me that ure my league..im asking myself, you talk so much about love, here and there but what i realise is that ure just a gungho with no life.. Making urself look like a fool with no objectives in life, if you have one that would be something that can make you satisfy with ur immaturity objectives..ure such a poor thing, couldnt set ur mind clear and what the hell ure trying so hard to tell everyone that uve change..stop blinding people with your immaturity. I have no idea how the hell you get a life and survive this very long..god knows how much i want you to understand that, u keep on knocking others down and you're just a creep.. You know you wouldnt like it if things turn back to you, then what the fuck are you hanging around like loose goose with ur past?? Do you have any idea ure just a attention seeker who wants to let everyone knows that ure someone unnoticable? Nobody care even if you climb natural wall with no ropes babe..no want would like to even wanna take notice...ure so redundant i swear...For once, i just wanna say this..im still here tolerating your nonsense, my ears are growing fungi hearing your name which never bring good to me..especially when i know ure just trying hard to prove you can be like me...i guess its too late, cuz ure just out of space...can i just suggest this to you..why dont you keep all those effort cuz you might as well expose it to your future in laws and love one...ure just wasting ur tyme cuz whatever you do, i wont move a inch from my stands..stop thinking that im all intimidated by ur deeds, im just that bloody stubborn to be intimidated by you...Maybe this might be an eye opener to you....Just get this in mind, ure no longer needed..Not even ur blood...ure redundant..

Humans, love

2010-11-15T20:39:00.003+08:00

Humans usually tends to forget the whole idea of appreciating and treasure their love ones at times.... Its either they are too busy to even look upon it or too complacent of being comfortable to each other.. So treasure while they are still around, you might never know when the time comes, things will go the other way which you never want it to happen... And dont start blaming for changes cause... A fruitful relationship depends on both party itself.. It takes to hand to clap, two finger to snappy snap... So humans, dont you forget... it takes effort to built one relationship and that easy to ruin everything down.. Treasure YOUR surrounding especially, when one never fails to open their heart to love and sacrifice... Sacrificing takes alot of effort, its not by just smilling and sacrifice will happen...So dont take things for granted... For if you think you're gone way to far for being complacent... Set you route back on the right track... cuz if you track it back a little too late, ull mess up everything... Learn how to look, observe and see changes... Cuz that would actually make you more aware of unfaithful deeds to one another...:)

I would, I would For you

2010-11-08T19:37:00.003+08:00

Dear heart...

You know, im glad that you're all calm and at peace right now...
Havent i told you, im so proud of you...Ive been very mean to you
all these years...allowing intruders to hurt you and cause you to bleed
so terribly, badly shattered and hell i have no idea how
am i suppose to fix right back how it is suppose to be...
Im glad that its all fine right now...
For im really sure that im being the most cruelest owner you
ever wanna stay with...im sorry dear...
I wouldnt want you to be hurt no more...
I wouldnt want you to be that lil thang asking to be love...
And for you to know, if it hurt again this time...
i promise you that i will take you away, far away from anyone else..
Ill personally watch you shrink and old with me...
Lets do this together, just make it right...
Like you always do, like you always give the best moments
each time i close my eyes to sleep and you pump down slowly as we sail thru our dream land...
For you ill die, for you ill do anything to keep you right....
I promise...

Dont you worry, he wont break it...
You can count on him love, you can...

Your Sincerely,
Audrea

Perempuan Memang Smart! (PMS)

2010-11-07T00:37:00.002+08:00

Im down with my PMS at this very moment...
Seriously sakit nak mampos...!
Just dont get it, late plus cramps plus busy!
Intership is just no better than hell...
And my MIMI catty cat is back in workshop..
She went meeuwing at the logs while taking my break with Dee just now..
Yeah! she's back becuz she's freaking hungry...
Sepak baru tau...mcm nak bakar jer bulu dier..
Lapar baru carik abg2 dan kakak2 saikang warrior at Xponent Asia..
lau tk dier melaram dengan abg2 tua kutuk pat capstone! Bowdow!

List out my plans for him..
one down, few more to go...
And i know, i fucking idiot with lots of stupid things in mind..
Hahaha...thanks to didi armaya..a random blog reader of mine
who gave me ideas to surprise him..
lol! thanks didi...and some credits to you too...
Anyways, whatever the surprise is..
i wont go lelong here in my blog...
nanti si wak jacen go randomly read my blog how?
Im mugging with our 1 year anniversary and he is mugging in to...
Jacen go.....
Sayang: "baby, what shud i surprise you??im sure you gona buy/do something for me"
Me: "Lol...pelan2 k bby...you got one month to go, and i wont tell you my surprise k"
Taking carelah kan....
PMS in process...

I didnt know my blog is still readable to others...
even if its not, who cares....tk betol?
what matters, those haters are not my challenge...
Im good at my own pace, dont have to catch up with those good ones..
im so well on my own...i dont need orang kanan or orang kiri to make me look good...:)
Tk payahlah......buat susahkan org...
Human greed too much...:)

why do fools fall in fall?

2010-11-01T16:41:00.005+08:00

Tell me why do i fall in love with this mysterious boy here...
Gosh! Been wondering have i gone mad or what...
Never stop falling in love...
Never stop missing of love...
Never stop loving my love...
Im all blessed by the fact that he's being the most gerek BF ever...
Yeah...im bragging...why? cannot? cannot then drag your cursor to the end of this window..
You can either minimise it to continue reading my post OR
By all means the cross tab is all for you to click!:)

What only... halloween night.....???
Neh...more of in advance deepavali and hari raya haji session at his place...
His mum, tailored a new pair of of baju kurung modern..
And so cant wait for my "mother-in-law" to glam off something nice this tyme..:)
Dont worry makcik..confirm lawa kedegak...caya sama gua k?
Was having our dinner with her mum when i mention to her about engagement
and how much ppl tot that me and love is all engaged to each other...
ya i know...!like serious...??
Without any hesitation the mum say this
"alah ti, kalau org tanyer ckp jer dah tunang"
I was like...! almost choke onto a huge prawn down my throat!
Mak nyer noh dah kenape!?
She told me that, she told bby to get our engagement ring soon...
BUT the best of everything...
We decided to keep the engagement simple, as simple as just masok mintak
straight away masok cincin...:)
SO no pretty wetty gown that make my wallet drill down a huge whole...
hahahaahaa! SELAMAT!
But then again, if its drawing any nearer, ill just change the status to engaged..
SIMPLE....:)

Two happily fools fall in fall..
How great!
Met by accident, stay on purpose...
Thank god i finally found someone true..
backing off? nah...no matter how tough life's gonna be..
here we are staying side by side holding on tight in years to come...
Asked him this,
Me: "Bby, we are already a year old, how will our next year gonna be like?"
Jacenbby: "Gonna be just like this year, simple and smooth..."
Me: "hehehehe!
I know right....
He's great and simple..
Ilovehimsomuchwithnofullstop

Looking forward for our next pay!
We're gonna do some shopping, touristing!
LOVE,LOVE!
I wonder, what shud i surprise him for our 1 year nivesary...
HELP ME!!

OH OCTOBER!

2010-10-30T11:11:00.004+08:00

Caught myself in a very tight schedule at work..

Yesterday was one of the most horrible shift i ever wanna say...

8 hours of belaying non stop hit shit!

Belaying starts from 10 am onwards till 6pm..

Im seriously drop dead tired plus im adding more collections to my blisters..:)

CONNIEE!!! ure pushing me to the grave ler!!

And today, like SATURDAY morning! im having gym fucking duty!

OI!! i need my beauty sleep connie!

Earrrggghhh!

And now im at the gym waiting for my tinggi buddy to come for her shift!!

DEE PASTRANA!!! quick!!i need you now! entertainment!!

I wonder whats gonna happen next in the month of november..

For like i really swear, october have never been a good month.

The best of everything OCTOBER sucks for sure.

I wont take back my words..forever it will be the most fucking month i wanna look forward to.

Both of us on tight schedule this month,

Im down with attachment, deary is back in camp for deployment standby..

Seriously, both us couldnt find the perfect tyme to spend precious tyme together...

the only time would be "kiss me thru the phone"

I think thats it... but never the less, we do meet up for a short while for dinner and stuff..:)

My deary knows how to manage tyme well.. just like aku..

Working my ass off till next pay...

He's bringing me to Universal Studio, and im bring him to Marina Bay Sands Resort...:)

Yeah i know...we feeling2 tourist gitu...

Almost 11 month! and 1 more more to a year..

*phewwww*, we are reaching our final checkpoint really soon..!

Seriously, we did well...

But still we've yet to foresee what's gonna happen next in months to come..

GREAT JOB TO US!

Going back to his place today, cuz mama wants

to tempah baju kurung with tailor for hari raya haji...

so weird, but i never did new one for this particular seasonal event....

shud we watch movie tonight...?hmmm....i guess..we shud!

hahaha! gotta do my duty now..at the same time i have to clear my 800 words essay...

*middle finger up in the air!*

Jeez!

2010-10-19T20:54:00.002+08:00

Wondering why issit being so hazy lately...
Phuck cause so much things to me..JEEZ!!
Lately, i can hardly breathe and today i got an eye irritations..
Begang jer! Yesterday sayang down with stomach flu...
Diarhhea and vomitting non stop hits....Kesian dia...:(
Its okie honey...u gonna be fine after the 2 days MC alright..?(Words of motivation)

Bored, bby is down with flu..So he's doing what he's good at doing since yesterday..
TYDOO! hmmph...! but its okie..rather than dier merayap tk tentu arah...
When i heard he fall sick, i was all worried about his condition...
K i noe, i kasi dier manja..but nvmd...anak sorang mah...
I suker kasi manja orang....he always pamper me..
so he deserve a huge favour as a return...lol!
Hopefully he will recover asap cuz this weekend we have jemputan kahwins to cover...
Adoi! Baju melayu...sungguh meleceh kan...
You noe im not a fan of jemputan kahwins...
But too bad, since im getting married too..
I have to just go and in return like mummy say, they will come to my wedding...

Ive been keeping alot of things to myself lately..
Even phek and iman mention that i was rather quiet than usuals...
I know im not being myself but i just dont know how to let the ball roll..
Maybe only got knows how i want things to be good as it is...
K, before some of you got the wrong idea...
This got nothing to do with me and sayang okie...
We are doing well, alhamdulilah....
Just some other issue which i think its kind of ridiculous for it to happen...
I wash my hands off from this issue for the longest tyme...
Eversince im with sayang...
I just hope things will be good and smooth by itself slowly...
patience is virtue...

Attachment starts tommorow...
So if anyone wanna see me or wanna rembat me or wanna stare at or wanna show how strong are you..by all means....exponent asia...there i am...:)
hahahaha! 4 months in exponent could be just as hell i guess...
arggghh!!!gonna get some rest...

"Ku takkan pernah cuba tuk berhenti..
langkahku mencari cinta...
yang ku tahu hanya tuk diriku...
kan ku terus cari, sampai hujung dunia...
kerna ku tahu, akan ku jumpa dirimu..."

Troubles....

2010-10-13T15:22:00.002+08:00

Wasnt really in a good situation but im gonna pick those troubles up one at a time..
Really wanna thank Jacen for being such a deary..Never fail to be there for me whenever im in trouble....There is such a saying by a wise person."Tough time dont last, but tough person does.."
Thanks PK...i will always remember that...:)

Pre-IIP camp was good..learn lotsa of new way to approach a person.
Things were good, no problem so far..i guess everything is over...i just couldnt be bothered..

Did share this with bby yesterday night after bumping on to nick and gee...
Gosh! i god damn miss gee soo much...after so long...we did bump on to them...
Oh yes, i text him this...

Me: Bby, everything is over now sayang..we are doing very well, others are doing good too...
Mungkin tuhan nak kita teruskan hidup kita dengan damai..slowly things are doing good by itself.. Im glad that your past and my past slide thru within us smoothly..one after another..yg lepas kita bury deep2..we hae more things to explore and focus now..just to let you know, no matter what happen, ull too have my hands when you fall back...Changes you did or happen are being beneficial for all including me..i love you my bby...will always do...
Jacen: Okay baby.....I love you too.....

Well, i think its kind of true...one after another...slowly take it leads for good cause..
I think troubles are getting are getting better...I know he want things to be clear and he dont want have anything got to do with that Cibai...dont worry bby..i understands...

Almost to a year this december...
Im looking forward for it...alhamdulilah....
We did this far....moga allah restukan perhubugan kami..amin...:)

To you from me...

2010-09-27T20:03:00.006+08:00

To you,

As time has passed

the question remains

Will this love we have remain?

Will it stand the test of time

Or will it just fade away

Only you and I will know

As we pass along life’s road.

All the work we do together

Brings us closer still

But it’s love that holds us close

And love will keep us till

So know my love

My heart burns bright

It warms my heart and yours at night

It alone will keep us close

over all the ebb and flow of years.

So know I miss your touch,

and the warmth of your sweet smile.

And the laugh that warms my heart.

So please stay awhile.

So keep yourself through cold dark nites

Enwrapped in the warmth of my sweet love

And pray that love will keep us close

Though all the coming years

From me, your baby....

reminder!

2010-09-07T00:55:00.002+08:00

3 more days to go...
Raya is just around the corner...
And my sames goes to my age...23!! GOSH!!
Im all not ready yet....
Bby always remind this to me..
"The young are pushing the old ones to the graves"
Of course i dont like it...
Im pushing the old while the young are pushing me down the grave...!
Ouuuh tidak! And i watching kalamullah...
Tonight's topic is about malaikat israel..(the soul reaper),
How scary death can be especially, when ure a kafir, tidak mengerjakan solat...
tidak mengejarkan rukun islam...whoaah! really disturb me alot...
Insya'allah, sesungguh nyer akan aku tunaikan hajat allah swt..

Done with my blinds, left with my and mummys drop curtains.
Shall put it up on malam raya...bedsheet will be spread on mlm raya too...
Thanks to bby, half of my preparation this year being sponsor by deary..
So much things...mummy really apreciate his generousity..:))
We did some exchange...mummy gave 6 bottles of different kind of cookies to mama..
and of course im the one who bake it!! ey! im not a useless betina stay at home only noe how to complain k?! not my style...!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wonder why people can be such a farking asshole to themselves!
If you wanna know the reason why...
Ask this question to yourself,
"Why do you think you deserve him at this point right now, when you ure not good enough for him..?" You should have shut ur gap and be patience with his career instead of bossing around what you've got and dump him for easy...and now you want him back..?DREAM ON MOFO!
Sumpah aku menyampah dengan perangai perasan jambu!
Tak sebulu betol aku dgn nie pompuan!
GET A LIFE AND START MOVING ON WITH LIFE!!
LU SEMAK ARH MINAH!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I need my beauty rest...been very angry this few days...
exceptional towards my bby...
I miss him so...i love you dada!:P

tabah...

2010-08-27T02:13:00.003+08:00

Ive been receiving bad news and all sorts of problem
from my friends and buddies and girlfriends regarding their love life..
Im all over with their problems...motivating them with all my experience
and lesson learn in life before this...

Talk to bby about this today...
He responded well and he did knocked some senses in me...
No doubt, he never fail to share his thoughts and experience with me...
Some other guys might not like it if we share things with them,
they prefer talk things that interest them...
But bby is simple and cool, he prefer talk on anything for us to brainstorm and learn from others..I love him so much....NIE BARU COMMUNICATION!!
hahaha! Bukan asik nak cakap pasal benda same...
Tak about our interest then about the day they go thru...
It will go rot wen time flies...BORING.....!
Am proud of myself and him...
I really enjoy our relationship journey..
Though his always away, he never fail to come across my mind...
We build a neutral relationship..
We fight it thru moderately and easy...
Its not tough at all....
Maybe, past experience taught us how to be more mature..
thank god for all the ujian dunia,hati dan perasaan
yg kita lalui....
Alhamdulilah....

Raya is all around the corner...
So is 23!!
Adoi...! Semakin tua lah nie...
Sedih sak...!
But am looking forward for birthday this year...
With family,him and friends...
They are just what i need in life...
2010 was the best year ever had in life...
Terima kasih ya allah...

As for us, everyone did notice that we are busy with some real business..
yeay!actually we are enjoying ourselves as much as we can now...
We started to plan for good real things..
Insya'allah, tanpa halangan..we will commence the right engagement date and wedding date...
Not sooo soon....like he mention to me...
"Dont worry,all will happen in time.."
Kita merancang, tuhan tentukan..
Im sure to be pissed if anyone ever associate me with my past...
To me right now...dah over, none was my concern...
they are just another stranger...:))
God will deal with them...ive done my part...

To all my friends....
Biar hitam sejarah hidup mu..namun harus tetap tabahkan hati..
Kesal memang kesal, hati kau tercalar..
siapalah yg iniginkan perpisahan....
Andai suatu hari ada org yg bertanya...
Mengapa korg tidak lagi bersama...
Jawablah, bahawa jodoh sudah tiada, dan tiada sengketa..:)
Tabahkan hatimu wahai saudara and saudari ku..

Bababababa....

2010-08-18T03:28:00.006+08:00

My sweet honey broke the most utmost exciting news to me today...guess what? my whole dream is coming true slowly and its with him...im so grateful..alhamdulilah...
Lets get it straight to business..my deary decided to bring me for a short holiday...to....BALI!!! Awesome or what....so tell me if im not freaking excited! i was half awake wen he told me about the plan..
So swweett..Sukerr...:)

If its not because of ah fad and his wife planning to go bali, i guess..i wont be stepping my feet over there...lol! Maybe taiwan will be the next holiday trip ill be going personally with bby only for our honeymoon...Im dying to go KUTA BEACH and what else...shopping , sun bathing and adventure with my darling one....baby noe my style...so gonna work hard for it and enjoy later for bali....weeehuuuu....not gonna stuck so much in one island with the same o thing...im getting more of a life than a routine after bby is cool from his errands...Susahkan jadi abg2 army nie...asyik di medan perang bertarung demi negara tercinta...lol....Im so in love with my bby...its kinda of true what he say to me every single time ...
"baby,good things will come to those who wait...", i will never fail to remind myself that...maybe its just him..a man of his word..mungkin inilah anugerah tuhan....insya'allah...
moga cita-cita, impian kita menjadi kenyataan..he put me back as one whole again and the fact is...he carve the smile back onto my face...

Chatted with lulu today...
gosh! she's happy tooo with his ex bf...
so happy to hear that from her...
I guess my buddies are doing al well..
alright...mungkin setiap yg terluka, akan dibaikkan dgn potion teramat baik...
"ya allah, sempena bulan ramadhan yg sempurna ini...ku mohon agar kau makbrul hajat2 kami untuk mendirikan mahligai suatu hari nanti akan tercapai kelak...amin ya rabal alamin.."

Im indeed an very happy girl...syukur...:)

Strongerrrr

2010-08-17T00:43:00.003+08:00

5th ramadhan today, its gonna be 6th ramadhan tomorrow..
Time flies dat damn fast dont you think so?
I dont really feel lethargic for this year ramadhan..
Maybe because working at swensen does more work i guess compared to *bucks?
Or maybe its just situation,environment and working style...
after so long, i did my first morning shuft at 9am today till 5 plus...
Gosh! a loooonggg thirsty and tempting day...
As i was doing fountain for half of the shift today...
funny....caught red handed org melayu tk puase....lol...!
but whateverlah kan...sendiri dosa, sendiri tanggung...

Sayang is still in tekong for another 2 more months
And he'll be back on normal regular basis after that..*hopefully*
But not too long, he'll be doing his sispec for another 3 months.
I know its tough but i have to dwell with it...
Im all prepared for his working lifestyle..
No doubt, from the time we got attached..
He got stuck with medic course for 3 months...
2 weeks of rest for us and his family..
Back on his errands for another 6 months in tekong for the BMTC thingy..
So by then after he completed tekong thing, we are already 10 months old..
I dont really feel the relationship duration..
I felt time flies that fast, kejam celik dah nk 1 year...
Glad i made it this far....its hard at first...
but he manage to pull me through this together with him...
I wasnt complaining but i am happy that im able to understand his situation..
He, at his side pon susah...he cant do anything like he always remind me..
He's working...klau aku keje mcm dier pon aku akan ckp yg same..
So meaning, im a grown up...:)) I know how tough life can be...
never once, he left me unattended if he got the chance...
Every single weekend, we have it for our own...
As every other day we have our own errands to clear..
Alhamdulilah...syukur...we are doing just well, smooth and insyallah...this will consistently glide all the time...
I need to get my needs,mental and emotions diverted to something impotant...
Ive no idea if he have to leave me for months for overseas deployment...
But if he have to be deployed, i have to get myself gear and all ready to face the worse kangen moments!
I can say, its gonna be extremely hurtful, sad and lonely...
But then again...im old enough not to be sooo dependent on my bby...
I have to be strong and tough...I did it all the time...
so why cant i do it this time with him....
every single day past will be the sweetest thing i will keep while waiting for him..
we do this sayang...!:)

Its enough for me to hear you call my name and say you miss me alot..
every single day...im serious...:[
Cuz i noe, no one else compatible to you, besides me...:)
Dont worry sayang...for all you know...im fine here...right now..
at this very moment...i tk akan menduakan you...apatah lagi mengejar cinta lain..
yang tk mungkin pasti...i love you so much sweetypie...
Ill be right here waiting for you...
even mummy noe...!:P

Supernatural!:)

2010-08-16T01:08:00.003+08:00

Did our first round of errands for raya and doing it the second round next week...
Got my raya heels and handbag clutch from bby...:)) Thank you sayang...
Waduhh! udah complete gitu....:P
Darling almost got me those wedding shoes for raya...
Absolutely astouding...! but i dont wanna have it too early...
I wanna get those heels as my wedding gift!!
hehehe...! i want something unique and classy...
not branded but common...oppsie daisy....!
im the minority..:))cheyyy!
Bby dying for fable 3 by xbox 360'...
and yes im getting 2 games for him...
another game will be mass effect 3, which will be launch next year...
I bet he will be the most happiest man in Yishun!
As much as he make happy, ill make him one too...:))

Am happy to know, mama is happy to see him a better person..
And so is mummy...she's happy that im with someone mature and a man ready to settle down..
Dont worry mummy, i noe what is best for my future that ure concern of...
the past was just a mistake...never i regret but only wish it doesnt happen at all..;]

Working in the morning tommorow, breakfasting at home...
yeay! mummy2! besok masak kari ayam pls........:P
im dying for kari ayamlah.....!
lol!!k nitey nites peep! have fun day dreaming....
have fun tumbuhkan jerawat di muka...:P

Sampai Syurga...

2010-08-13T10:22:00.003+08:00

Ku membenarkan jiwaku
Untuk mencintaimu
Ku persembahkan hidupku
Untuk bersama kamu
Dan diriku untuk kamu

Belum pernah kumerasai begitu
Semua itu telah berlalu

Harapanku palsu
Dan mungkin hari yang satu
Terus ku tertunggu
Di hatiku hanya kamu
Belum pernah ku ingin terus memburu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu
Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik untuk diriku
Hanya satu
Hanya kamu...

Ku membiarkan hatiku
Untuk merinduimu
Ku menghamparkan sakitku
Untuk tatapan kamu
Bersamamu harapanku
Hilang dalam terang yang membutakanku

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu
Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu...

Dan segala yang ku ada
Ku berikan semua
Untuk dirimu saja
Ku mahu dirimu
Bahagia untuk selamanya
Biar sampai syurga
Aku menunggu cinta darimu
Agar ku sempurna
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu
Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik tuk diriku
Hanya satu...

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu
Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu..

no time!

2010-08-11T23:16:00.004+08:00

Hey! scrap you...! i rather watch 10 movies in a day, cook at home, watch my niece at home and post some any other stupid fuck post which come across my randomly than self-updating myself on people whom dont make any benefit for me...These people are some kind of a idiot or what? ouh...you think ure that important in my life? or am i suppose to get intimidated about your life..!? please ehk...this is suppose to one last warned from me!
Hell!ive got no time to do such a thing. When i know people are self-updating themselves on my FB, blog.. mungkin kau org tertanya mcm mane aku tahu org bebual pasal aku.. its because, i have more than a pair of eyes, more than a pair of ears.

Tkmo bedek arh lau org tk kaypo pasal hidup aku kan...kanina...!
nak hidup mcm aku? den you have to dare yourself to be hurt and go thru hardships over and over again. Kimek betol..Anyway, if whatever things ive said in my FB and blog which really hurt your eyes, ears and heart, i bloody reckon you to kill urself or even just shut da gap and live ur own life..I dont give a damn what's going on with other poeple life.. i dont give a fuck how much you enjoy, suffer or pretending to be a person in ur life..cuz i just couldnt careless people.

Geram dgn aku?? Benci dgn gambar2 aku? tk suka aku post benda2 pat FB?
Like it or not, u have adapt with it.. So cant i be happy?so cant i be like others.. Aku sedih org tk suke, aku happy org meluat. abeh kau nak aku buat ape huh? So you can do whatever you want? i cant arh? FUCK YOU! Nuff said..! FYI i dont give a damn on others on what they think about me cuz i have my ways to live my life so do you...! And please, kalau ade benda nk bebual dgn aku, come forward and bring it up to me.. tk runtuh kau gertak, tak mati kau bunuh...

Maybe some people might thing im still concern with my past or even other people past,
but the fact here is...GO TO HELL with the past...seriously, the difference between the past and present is my past and other people past are all fake! so whats the big deal...!? Monyet punyer org2 nak bebual pasal aku berani belakang aku, nk bebual depan2 arh....peduli ape aku kau sape..minah tak minah, kaya tak kaya, jambu tak jambu, kuat tak kuat..you cross my line you gotta face the consequences..

PLEASE, whatever you do in life now doesnt even intimidate me a inch....i have better things to do in my life...this is the fact and i dont care at all...suck your own blood people...i rather watch supernatural and keep missing my bf...so shooo and stuck ur tongue till it dries up all you want and start acting like a damn young kiddo who fail to grow up... SO CANT I BE A RANDOM BLOODY IDIOT??? wen i noe ure pointing at me?! im not yet stupid...and this post are for those who really fucking terasa, akan terasa, nak terasa ataupon selalu nyer paranoid....and i dont care....hear me out??

my best!

2010-08-09T23:07:00.004+08:00

Things my greatest have done:

He cheer me up with things that makes me smile when im down.
Bring me to places that amaze me.
He kissed my forehead everytime im close to him.
Hold my chin up and say "i love you" at anywhere, anytime.
Wrapped his arm around me to make me feel like home.
Never tire to layan my nonsense, attitude and behaviour.
Hold my sweaty palms the whole day without leeting it go.
Slice my armpits and say "hmmmm....serabai..."
Kissed my neck before we bid goodbye.
Talk about things that draw our creativity wild!
Wake up late but still knows how to win my heart.
Lie by my side and say "baby, you can start saving alright..we will get married.
He acted slumberdog when i spot him.
Kissed my cheek and it last longer than 10 secs.
Surprise me with unexpected surprises and when i say "BBY! ape niee?" dier kasi muke cute dier and reply "huh?aper dier?why baby......?"
Text me incredibly cute msgs like powerpuff girls song.
He's ready to be a husband and father to all my future kids.
Get me all ready for things that are important in my life.
Hug me so tightly and i know he misses my absence.
He swept my feet away from the 19 behaviours above..:)

He's the reason im all contented every single time i breathe..
Honestly, he's the greatest thing next to walnut rocky road and never stop exploring with him.. Its Mohammed Noh Bin Muti..:))
Thanks to bby, for what i am today..he makes me the beautiful girl again...not the fatty one though he kept on feeding me with lots of food. Im greatful for that but still i have to maintain my figure till we get married, i dont wanna end up mak buyong after giving birth to 3 kids...:P Ima happy girl indeed..we dont to need dslr to capture our beautiful and captivating moments cuz it is too sweet and gorgeous to be potray for others to intimidate...:)
What we have are for us to treasure...thank you syg for the long weekend..selamat berpuasa dan jgn lupa terawih.

Something to Ponder....

2010-08-05T11:46:00.003+08:00

Many things occur in mind this few days..
Ive been doing much analyse on things that happens to me...
Seen so much, been thru hardship so much...
I think the pain is slowly decreasing...
And thank god for that....

I met up with Caden to start off my life insurance plan with him..
I have no doubt on anything but as much as im concern...
there many things that i as a singaporean myself didnt notice..
There's so much ways to pan for your finance and save your money on rainy days... examples, hospital plan, house mortgage plan, car plan..all this plan the more you invest the more interest you get the more things you can cover...wow! truly amazing...

Its seems like im all ready to get married but financially, im not yet...
Jacen is doing is part...lucky him...he started off early...
I believe there's always a way to all my doubts...
Im contemplating whether if i wanna have an account with standard chart,citibank or dbs..
Live credit card by citibank turns ma ass on dat god damn real...
Really! no shit i tell you...:P

Months passed...and now we are almost a year...
8 months now and we are moving on natural and smooth...
im actually touched by his existance in my life...
i noe, this wasnt a mistake...
i noe, this is for real...
well, maybe its true...cinta tidak menunggu masa dan waktu..
umur and darjat....
Alhamdulilah...
Im getting closer to mama...
the sweetest things ever is, she fed me kuih tart in front of jacen...
wow! i was least expect that to happen...
when mama, plan to go out with me to geylang to get langsir rumah dier..
surprise me indeed..syukur...
i strongly believe, im on the the right track...
No doubt, me and jacen have our up and downs...
but nevertheless, dier tk pernah abaikan tanggungjawab dier..
mendidik and menjaga i dgn baik..
he's doing things consistently starting from the beginning...

What more should i ask for??
Im asking and praying for future blessings from ALLAH on our relationship..
We are working on it...persevere thru things...
Making up things that uncertain, believe in faith and building trust...
Moga allah melihat niat baik yg kiter tanam dlm hati masing2...
insya'allah..amin...

Forever, Im Yours...

2010-07-26T01:34:00.004+08:00

Jacen Alvarez:

Sometimes I wonder.. what force of nature pulled me to you.. Or what freak accident causes our meet and greet... Whatever it is, we are together and you definitely convinced me that we're for each other.. As weird as it may sound.. Yeah we are together only after 2 days of knowing one another but I've never been more s...ure than ever that you're the one to keep. You are the stranger who picked me up when uncertainty loomed over me like a dark storm and showed me the path of happiness that I thought could never have existed after all the lies and deceit I was given.. You are truly something.. No. Someone.. Someone special.. To be your friend is good, be your best friend is better but to have you as my partner, I can never turn that down. You may not be the person who made me what I am today, but you're certainly the one who reminded me again that I can be great with what I have and that I have a purpose.. And for that I thank you.. My greatest love.. I'll never put our efforts to waste.. We will be together... Forever...

He owe me something on my wall, but i didnt expect it to be tt long..

And i wasnt expecting such heart melting words to type on his iphone..

ouuuuhhh sayang...im so touched by your feelings and thoughts...

For im holding my tears and i can feel my heart stops pounding while reading it through...

Den again, i blushed on my past actions..i never thought that i would ever click your name in FB and mistaken you as my goodfriend ex bf...god knows how much paisey i am wen i know i got the totally wrong person...Mungkin inilah takdir, and time did its part by telling me that, forever, im yours to be... its a good turn for sure...

Dont you worry sayang...

Yg benar, tkkan ku hancurkan hatimu

Dgn janji-janji palsu, kata-kata penipuan...

least expect it from me..:))

Once again, had a wonderful weekends with you...
Now im free from telcos debts...i wanna thank him alot for all those sacrification made...
Dan sepatutnya, you save up money..
Bukan transfer i duit itu pembelanjaan i syg..
100 bucks can do alot of things for yourself...:[
Thank you for being observant on my finance...
And i know you will say this...
"cause you deserve it..":]

Im working on our dreams...

And thank you very much for so much of wanting to make it come true for both of us..

yeaaahh....finally, someone to keep for real and stepping on to the wedding platform with..:)

Before i forgot, thank you syg...for my PART 1 birthday present...

in fact the best gift i ever receive in life was you...

You're being wrapped specially send from HIM to me...

BEATS by DR DRE, not all woman craze all over for this kind of gifts..

more like majority enjoy fashion labels good...

but then again im not those material women whom jacen noe..:)

Still, i wonder PART 2...? will it be much more costly den this shoot?

I went FUCK wen i realise the price of this toy..!500 bucks!

He mention that, PART2..will consists of 2 of 500 bucks saving..

Nie giler namenyer!

But still i love actual birthday gift then all those stuff...

I adore JACEN ALVAREZ, hikmah dan kebahagian kurnian ALLAH..

Amin....

Syukur ku padamu ya allah...

Kau berikan aku kebahagian yg ku inginkan selama ini...

Nyala nya api cinta yg kau anugerahkan, membuat ku tabah menjalani hidup bersama cinta ku..

Jika inilah dugaan yg ingin ku tempuhi, akan kurelakan diri mengharuginya..

Alhamdulilah, syukur...

Kau makbrulkan doa dan tangisan ku selama ini...

Kusedar ku seorang hamba mu yg lemah lagi kerdil...

Dan kau lah yg membuat ku sebahagia begini ya allah...

Ku mohon agar dapat aku laksanakan cita2 ku

demi keluarga, perkerjaan dan cinta ku..

untuk hari murka...:)

Amin...

duit!mkn!duit!mkn!

2010-07-15T02:27:00.002+08:00

Just got back from lau pa sat with all the staff..
Fuuuhhh....nie mcm gua lau ikotkan perasaan nafsu..
Bley gemok siak!!.. had alot of stuff...
But things wen moody, wen farah phek ice milo timbol baby lipas...
uwwwweeeekkkk!! she cried after she realise after finishing her drink
the lipas is all dead and sticking around the cup...
FUCK!! yuckkiieee!!
So i calm her down..and we start cekik'ing again...
:)) Happy sungguh kami...kanak2 strawberry...:P

Hadnt i told you i complete my FYP report?
Ouuuhhh YEAH! finally...! 1/4 of the final year thing is over....
1/4 to submit poster, 1/4 print poster and 1/4 presentation..
alelelelelelele!!! Happy banget dek gue udah lemes deh kayak biki'in report ajar deh...
Gua udah kangen kantor kerja guek..
Im all so contented after completing my report...
The outcome of it soooo beautifull....

Firstly, i wanna thanks jacenbby...
for being the best man in my life i ever had...:))
Not only capable to work on his own..
but he's being the great resourceful guy who help me review my report
over and over again....and to my sister...thank you for all your never ending support...
Helping me in studies...to my mum and dad...walaupun selalu kamu tido pabila ku membuat report...never you folks fail to ask me tido...:)
So tell me...what more can i ask for...?
im being bless...alhamdulilah...ku bahagia...:)

The sweetest thing jacenbby did was...
He never fail to enlighten my heavy duty nights with his sweet msgs...
" Baby cheer up okie...Part 1 is coming soon..." (when i broke down of stress)
"Aww...baby miss me tak?? Cos i sure miss you alot.."(bila aku busy with report...no text no call)
You make me all happy, though you're always away...
Assure me that im being love, missed all the time by you...
Keeps me all contented...Thank you sayang...ure great in many ways...

The best thing about Jacen, he never gets angry easily...
He never scold me...he never penalyse me...
When he's frustated, he'll hit the gym and blow his anger in there..
Syukuran...:))
One more thing to thank him before i forget...
Thank you bby for volunteering yourself to pay for my singtel installment full for me...
Hehehee.."baby, its too time consuming...gotta save up your money for kahwin.."
jeng!jeng!jeng! K this is already for real....mummy even give 4 years from now to get married..
Insya'allah...akan ku doa agar jodoh kami di restukan...
Yeay! i so become the minah2 kahwin...

Girls....stop telling me of what you got..
Get it??? lol!!! im shaking my butt cuz i got to tell you this..
Always talking about what you got, girl you know that you need to stop...:)
If you got intimidated thennnn...i go fuggit...:))
like bby alwaes say...last name ever first name best!

*ponder*
What can my part1 and part 2 be from bby....:)
hmmmm....curiousity kills the cat...

It starts with the letter R!

2010-07-10T01:53:00.002+08:00

ouh my georgey!! im back here again..LOL..
Siapa sangka, siapa menduga...
Busy mcm maner pon aku tetap nk update...
Oh well, i made a good manager alright...
Management wise..tip top!
Well self deployed...:))

REPORT have become my fucking flesh and blood
eversince i start doing my research and jotting down words and words
into my word document page..!Fuck lah...
And guess what, i got like less than a week before submitting my sports admin report..
But nvmd, im doing so right now..cum blogging and cum report writting...
see...its not that hard afterall...multi tasking...:))
Im so all glad that my FYP report dateline is being extended
to 15 july and im already at my analysis part and im all done..
ehy! fuck!...im all good dude...thanks to jacenbby too for all his
powder english review on my report..He have been my english teacher all this while..
best kan...complete...boyfriend, bestfriend, gossipbitch, teacher and husband to be..:P
Report, report,report...! Bleh giler sey...
but tk ker memang aku giler...
doesnt make any difference dont i...?

After meeting Jacen today, we call it off a day..
he went off and to flag his cab home..
But he surprise me on something i call RANGGI!!

Jacen Alvarez: Baby!! I was checking on my account balance just now, and im all shocked to see $11,000 in my account. I terkejot, mama sebelah i pon terkejot."
Me: HUH??Kimek??Gaji kaper b? You double check tk?
Jacen Alvarez: Dah...2 kali i check the amount is till the same..wah! mcm gini besok you dah bleh dpt birthday present..hehehe!"
Me: *weeeeee* okie.....merepek kan...biar betol $11,000!"
Jacen Alvarez: Will do my bank statement tommorow

He's been thinking alot eversince he ORD from his first 5 years contract for the past 2 month..
Worried he might not be getting pay for the whole 3 months cuz he renew his contract...
Cutekan matair aku...! sekali 6 digit dah!!hahaha!
Senyom lebar OKB saya...Afterall..thats all your hardwork and for you to work harder k dear..
Allez bby..ull be a sergeant in no time...like wise..both your parents,mummy and your baby here is praying for your promotion..insya'allah,amin...:))

Life have been good, better and im living it to the fullest of cuz...
I wanna make this journey of my singlehood life as a women worthwhile..
Gonna start working after graduate and start saving my money to get married..
OF COURSE not to save money to the dancefloor, shopping mall...ouh come on....
i have goals in life...:)) * weeeee *
Im contemplating on our agreement... to engange or not to engange....
Cuz i wanna keep the waiting time shorter...:)
Cespat kahwin..cespat ker Taiwan..cespat 3 children, cespat ader rumah sendiri...
Im dreaming, im planning but the fact is that we are working on it...
Insya'allah...impian akan jadi kenyataan...
Moga allah makbrul doa kami dan beri kami peluang megerjakan ape yg termampu..
Amin...

Farah Phek this is for you...
Aku tahu, you have lotsa of trouble dwelling on you now..
School, finance, family and man...
well, like wise...ive said to you the night you when broke down with me..
In life...nothing is perfect...
Love is just a random thing that came up to you..
whether or not it will work, everything depends on human...
if you dont want it to happen then a break up will happen..
if you want it to happen you will work on it though their flaws starts to show..
this is the fact about relationship...
kalau dah malas, tk tahu nk syg org tu..ape lagi putus sudah...
Ive been thru it syg...it sucks...
but believe me..you will grow over it...:))
School...? Phek, 10 years down the road do you still wanna put the swensen uniform??
no, am i right...so do i...:)
Go and clear your diploma and go to NIE and start working your ass and become a teacher..
Simple right??
Family, memang susah tapi ingat...
every single thing that happens in life..
starts from home...learn how to adapt to changes..
you cant possibly throw tantrums at yourself and blame your single mother for all the things that happen...she herself dont want things to happen this way..so live with it...
Be nice to your mum, insya'allah naggy mcm mane pon ibu kau tu sorg ibu yg baik...
tkde ibu jahat dlm dunia...anak jer yg durhaka...!
Good to hear you wanna back up for your future...:)
Glad for you...ill be here to be your buddy weneva you need me...
Demi members...gua beri dorogan padu sis!

I soo beed to wrap this up...need to clear my report and off to bed..
Meeting JACEN ALBAEEEKKK besok...:P

Bby, i love you so much,very much and too much...
I enjoy our dream talks today...
I couldnt wait much for maya, anarqi and harith to come alive..:))
Mari kiter berdoa agar tuhan beri kiter peluang penuhi impian kita...
Sayang you muhammad noh ternyata kamu hansem..:P

Beautiful Dream....

2010-06-15T00:51:00.002+08:00

Beautiful Dream

Before I met you,I thought I was happy and I was,

but I had never known the rich contentment,deep satisfaction,

and total fulfillment you brought to me

when you came into my life.

Before I met you,I felt a lot of things,good things,

but I had never experienced the indescribably intense feelings

I would love to have for someone like you.

Before I met you,I thought I knew myself

,and I did,but you looked deep inside me

and found fresh new things for us to share.

Before I met you,I thought I knew about love,

but I didn’t,until I met you.

Thank you bby for the gift,your kindness

Thank you bby for being the person you are

kind and thoughtful,sensitive and considerate,

a generous and thoughtful giver.

You are unselfish always,putting others before yourself,

making me/us feel special and important.

It is a privilege and a pleasure to know you.

Ure just like a beautiful dream..

A beautiful dream that came true...:)

2010-06-09T02:18:00.003+08:00

Ouhhh...hadnt i told you im having two weeks holiday..jyeahhh...

I was surprise that my blog have been collecting dust ever since last month...

But still, im here again...updating my holidays momentos...lol! Karot!

Alright...so..what ive been up to...

Celebrating Khairah's and Aidil's birthday down at SBG..

Went over to Fort Canning park to give my support to my brother band for launching their forst album..and what i fraking realise, one of the weekends spend with Jacenbby was all in the park..

k, sound romanticlah konon..but memang romantic...

Jacen is not a boring guy...!:) nasib badan lah kan.. * shake butt*

Eversince the start of my two weeks holidays...

Working have always been my bestfriend...:)

DUIT!! And as for last month...i was given pay raise...yeay!

all effort paids off... and to you dear jacen..thank you for being a great listening ear

from me shouting and screaming abt work till i teared down my tears....

Indeed ure my bestfriend and boyfriend! Cinta gilak sama kamu...

After long hours of standing at work..

Ma'am azean and farah phek took our "going home early shift" of to Bakerzin for cake treats..

Seriously, nothing much of a crave from this particular sweet treat cafe maybe bcuz..

i had ENOUGH of bakerzin's cakes back in starbucks..

From Strawberry tart to lemontart to chocolate amer to mango low fat cheesecake to all every other cake bakerzin ever cater to starbucks..hell yeah! Bakerzin is EXPENSIVE! Mothergoose tol! so im fucking lucky to have taste barang mahal before...so aku tk country pumpkin and naive! anyway, thanks to ma'am azean for the treats...:)

Ouhh freaking gosh!

Next week school reopen oready!:(

benci!benci! but this sunday will be a good one...!

Jacen is fetching me on Monday after school...:))

Thanks bby, for all the every little time you ever had for yourself you spend it with me...

Hahaha....im going all crazy for my interview this thurs...

ITE SIMEI lecturer...hmm....can imagine i become lecturer?

Sure kecoh...and i know bby i tk suka...

dont worry k sayang...i keje pon kerana nk simpan duit kahwin kiter...

nak kahwin kene ader byk duit...

Lau tak! kahwin dlm angan2 jer...

Berpelok, bercium, berpimpin tangan, berbaring tk legal...*ehk ape jerk*

Honestly, im happy looking at myself with Jacen....

Am happy with my circle of friends..

Cuz they make me go tembam...

Boyfriend tak suker jadi udang mcm tk bertulang belakang nak step model...aku pon tk tahu kenape...but still kadang2 aku degil uat jugak intensive physical training... Aku been digging and rolling ice cream at work...making duit now and then..

so fucking tell me, how the fuck am i going to cut down that drastic weight....?

kat keje dorg kasi aku mkn lamb chop, ayam goreng...

Pilihan ice cream beraneka perisa....aiyoy! but.....yg penting memang aku sedar badan aku naik...

so what aku happy sey...lain lah aku kene mental torture....

But paling penting...bby say..."no matter what baby, i will always love you..."

awwww......make sure that last longer than the sentence itself k Jacenbby...

Klah...nk log off...

besok nak lepak kat umah and let the day passed me by faster...

demi kerana nk jumper Jacenbby punyer hal arh!

ILOVEYOUJACEN!:)

Sometimes...

2010-05-27T11:25:00.005+08:00

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be possibly your climbmate, bestfriends, teachers, long lost friend, LOVER, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.

And to you bby, what i wanna tell you now is for you to come home and be with me...I miss you and you know deep down in me i really need you right now...Take care at work hubby...ill be right here waiting...love you Jacen Alvarez...

dearest...Love...

2010-05-20T13:57:00.004+08:00

Dearest Jacen Alvarez,

For whatever your decision is, im always be at ur back

Giving you my support and dont you worry...

If it really happens, my prayers and hopes will always be with you

as much as you want.. Nevertheless, you know deep down in me...

My heart half heartedly letting you go on to such places...

I do hope, you will be given the chance to experience such opportunities

afterall that is what you have been waiting for the longest time of the duration years

you sign on...:)

If only you know, i will keep on waiting for you...
everytime you are away from me...

i will assure you that im waiting for you to

come back to me and lay ur head on my arms..
And tts all im praying for all this time...
I love you
more than just a love song...
more than just a hug on a holiday...
more than just those smiles on the Saturdays...
Your love feel likes home to me...
more than anything else...:))

Its been months, and i know ure feeling really bad on the situation on us...
But dont you worry sunny...we will hold on tight on this and perservere thru...
As far as im concern, we doing just fine and doing awesomely great...
We will rock this relationship out to the very next2 level...
And you that im more than willing for us..
Thank you for everything you have done...and i appreciate every deeds you have made
to keep us working this precious love we own...
And without you and me...this wont happen...
Gue sayang banget loh deh..
Cinta sampai mati...:))

Jangan kau bimbang sayang...
Dimana ku berada..dgn siapa ku bersama..
Jangan bimbang ku tetap kau yang punya....:))

Your love,
Audrealita Siti

2010-05-19T13:21:00.002+08:00

I did slept early yesterday night cuz i gave in to Jacen..
Reason because he gotta wake up early as early as 5am
to go back to the jungle with the rest of his colleagues..
Hahaha..abiy disappointed cuz usually we will talk..
But i noe he's tired and after a long day at work..:((
cian my buchuk..to make things worse, he and the rest of the jungle man,
have to sleep in the rain and they shivers the whole night long...
Arrgggghh...pity my Jacenbby...i noe he can tahan...
Biasa arh...5 years coming to 6 years in service...hero ku...:))
nie sumer chicken feet hahaha to him...
Jantan serba bolehlah katakan...
Dont worry cinta, baby will hold on to this alright..
Allez!!!:D

i did pretty well in fountain today..
Sapppp! I did my closing all alone with a lil help from dinie..
So yar thank you...another guy from nowhere help me to clear the fountain cabinet..
And that superly make closing more efficient...
My fountain recipe was doing okie, but still need to polish it up...
Sadly, i cant remember much on my garnishing...CB!
Byk sgt lor!!! Bisa gila deh... Gy mana yah??!

And yeah!!helll yeah!!!
Can i fucking seriously meet up Shah, Lulu and Wati??
Where the hell all this mangkreng been missing..?
Shah did call me to go out and she's trying to make me becoming her date to shooo a girl away...
Bahanlah nie...:( but i cant help cuz i already had my date with jacen alvarez...
Sorry mangkreng... Lulu pulak did msg me in FB and she wanted to meet me badly..
Tapi masalahnyer....my schedule at work and school always tite...
Mcm mane baby....? I seriously misss luluboolulu...!
Abiz arh.. Lau dah jumper jawabnyer gosssips...
Wait till she hear my panas stories...confirm dier maki aku...
She will confirm say..."can you please take care of yourself and dont get into troubles"
hahaha! Dont worry, for this time for sure i wont get into troubles...
Caya sama gua sister...:))

Gonna get ready for school and work tonight...
A busy,busy day.... Nak duit!!!!!! Nak shopping!!!
Nak kahwin!!!!:)) so kene keje, carik duit and simpan duit...
I think i need to get a new iphone cable...
Dah worn out sia...mati aku tido dgn current!
Check2 bsk mak aku bgn tgk aku hitam...
So must buy new one already....
Hehehehe! you did make my day afterall today sayang..
Your greetings and assurance that you gonna be fine
makes me smile...love you cinta...

Bby,i miss you...<3

Wahhhduuuhhhh!

2010-05-18T11:16:00.002+08:00

Been bitchy these few days dont know why..
Maybe because Jacenbby is away for far too long...
IN TEKONG JUNGLE..
Please take care of urself jungleman...
ewww you mean 16 monkeys take away Jacenbby away for me!!
Nvmd, shall meet you on Saturday and Sunday...
Worried much on his financial...
Hope he can cope with it...:(

Dont tell me ill be in fountain again tonight...
Scooper duper lagi....but i guess there shouldnt be a problem..
Its tuesday, not much of a crowd anyway so yar....
Bleh settle lah...

Firstly, i would love to thank Jacenbby for everything...
No doubt, he is always at the back of me backing me up for any complications...
Im honoured to have a great man like you sayang...
Though ure in the jungle, while im in the urban city...
Ure always there keeping track of my life without fail..
I know how you feel, but dont worry...
Everything have come to an end...
You can put ur fist to a rest....
Mungkin tuhan tk nk you susahkan org...
Sebab tu dier gerakkan hati manusia itu untuk buat ape yg dier patut buat..
True enough what you said..."tak automatic arh diktue"
Dun have the sense of urgency nak buat aper bby...
You cant change human for nuts...
Human will change when they know they have to...
So lets live the life...:))

One matter settle, another matter coming up..
Gonna settle things one at a time...
Systematically intergrated in me...
One thing for sure i cant settle is to make
Jacenbby to stay long enough with me during weekends..:((
But nvmdlah, afterall weekends have always been a great weekends indeed...
PhekPhek meet crabby patiess equal to karot mengarot!
Hadnt i told you guys Ironman 2 was awesome? and Ip man 2 was superb?
Ip man 2 really inspire me to get me back on silat back after the long of pergantungan of club..:(
The moves remind me the moves i did with baby aiton back in PSK and Inter-grasio competition... Ganda moves...seriously, kangen deh....waktu gemilang kompol byk medal...
Add aiton in FB 2 days ago, and my all time favourite supporting ganda partner is married and preggieeee...!wow! Great news! So when is my turn next!
LOL!! Jacenbby confirm go heywire....khekhekeee...:P
well time passed, i guess those fond memories are meant to me treasure...
SILAT ITE!! tetap jiwa dan raga!
Ironman 3 coming up with The Thor in the movie..soooo nak tggggkkkk bby...!
To add ons! i did break my guitar hero virginity at his place..
For the very first, i sang and play the bedek guitar...:P
Cute per....He said i had a bad eye and hand coordination...:(
Sorrylah yg guitar hero pro...nvmd..wait till i come to ur place again and beat ur irritating scores...determination leads to success..
Anyway..pumpfest in odw...
not sure if Jacenbby will be able to make it...
Its vesak day anyway...hopefully, he will be able to be release..

Jacenbby...if you read this post...
Just to acknowledge you...
AKU CINTA PADAMU BACEN!
Im waiting for you to come home...
Come home to baby....:(
Anyway...everyone knows...
"Siti sayaaaaang bf dier sampai mati...."~ lalat swensen
HAHAHAHAAHAA! sudah terang.....
Cant wait to hear ur voice...nak uat you mangkok...
Den you uat i irritated!
I nak milo bubble tea.......:(
Rindu deh sama kamu....

Nak jugak!!

2010-05-10T11:29:00.003+08:00

Everything comes to an FINALLY to certain things...

First: Jacenbby finally out of his confinement duty as commander..

Second: My sister ffinally gave birth to her first child, WAFIQ!

Third: Brought Jacenbby's parents for lunch treat..:)

Forth: Jacenbby finally get me a new black pumps for school..:))

So yar...i FINALLY get what i need!!

Jacenbby came back from tekong on Saturday afternoon..

But sadly, i was out with my family for dinner over at The Rice Table..

Not being a bitch here but i have to share this...

A sweetest thing a guy would ever do for a girl..

Jacen travel all the way from town, when over to my place just to see me at my window..

AND YES he did! He just like to surprise me with his surprises! SAYANG JACEN!

Went out fo lunch with his folks...

Sweet and cute..I was scared but i put up a strong front cause im the one who agree to treat the family Mothers' Day lunch...:))

Aku tahu aku baik...I didnt claim that all by myself..but Jacen did....

He come close to me, whisper to my ears.." Baby...im so happy...ure such a good girl.."

Hahahahaha! I told you im a good girl...:))

Did told him that im giving him 2 years after my graduation to propose me..LOL!

else, contract abis...!:P

I think its a good thinklah...the longer we date, the more challenge we will face..

Lau dah kahwin kan senang (tak lah sangat....) !

For at least we both know we have limitations to follow through..:)

And i nak babies jugak!!! I nak Anarqi and Maya Aureilli (our babies name..)

He agree if we have 3 at least...:)

I want 3 so.....i my third child to be a boy! so i can name after my son Harith !

NAK JUGAKKKK!!!! look at wafiq!

P/S: Bby, you have the fatherly figure look okie...:) Bby, thank you for everything...ILOVEYOU!!

fly me away

2010-05-04T13:26:00.004+08:00

We flew passed one week and we have another week to go...:)
And he will be out on the 15th May!..Like finally!!
But still we have a long way to go baybay!
I Miss Mohammed Jacen Alvarez!LOL!!Quick balik k...:(

"Crazy baby...My eyes tire witout looking at you..
My hands wrinkle without your touch...
My heart aches without you by my side...
Missing you..."
Silly Jacen Alvarez

So sweet of him...
He is the reason i moved on with life..
Going upwards instead of forward..
Cause i know when im falling,
He will be there to catch me...:))
Miss him truckloads..!
Ill be right here waiting for you...

Cant wait for,
Our summer rides on that large monstarr swing!
Jackass dinner with our sweet indulgence!
I just missed lying next to you..
Only GOD knows how you meant to me..:(

i choose........

2010-04-29T00:41:00.002+08:00

hell yeah...been months and now my arms start to ache again...
But its okie, it will get better after consistent power endurance training...
sometimes i wonder, what have i put myself into...
its okie, for my benefit...i choose to do anything for the best of me..:))

im stuck with my first lit review right now..
didnt know why maybe my brain too tired to even start off reading any journal articles..
But still i need to get rid my first review by this sunday...
Ive decided to stay at woodlands library the whole day tommorow to
complete my lit review...I wouldnt have the time to finish it up
by this weekend..so much things to do on the weekends...:(

Jacenbby will not be booking on labour day..:(
Sungguh tk gerek......but nvmd, i noe the whole waiting time will be well spend
afterall once he is out the next coming week..:))
Today was his first day meeting up his platoon mangkoks..
Hahahaha!Mesti cute lau dier mind fuck budak2 hingus tu sumer...
Wish i can see him conduct lessons/ anything arh with his platoon..
Teringat zaman muda lampau aku maki budak2 npcc!
I was very mean and vicious! Mak tk mak...maki tetap maki...

I want nobody but JACEN ALVAREZ right now beside me...
Mane tak...i need him to laugh at my bloopers...
I nak dier wipe peloh wen i pespire..
I rindu dier kiss my hand randomly when we walk around...
I suker dier put his on my shoulders like he is my bestfriend...
I sungguh perlu dier punye joke2 bodoh uat i ketawa kuat2...
Saya miss dier panggil i "baby!" lepas tu dier "meoow!"
Dier punye senyum buat i cair bile tyme i penat...
Bahu energise satu bdn buat i rindu dier sesangat sekarang...!
Dan byk lagi!!! Maaf cakap lau i have to say...
He is the awesomest boyfriend compared to the both idiot!
Mature enough to be my future husband...
Prepared enough for my future childrens...
(All of the above lau tk kekal till i kahwin dgn you bby, you siap..!hahaha~!)
l bet he wont be like those CIBAIs..!

Meh! i nasihat...
Trust me...guys who are older, working and have lots of experience in past relationships are better to fall for. Well, kechik (faezah) make a good guess! I choose mature guys as my bf.... hahaha!Once bitten, twice shy.... never again...
Whatever fuck shit about my past! so fucking pissed that i have such bad past!
Yang penting i nak bilang JACEN nie...:(
bby busok...i wanna perm my hairlah....
bby busok...i wanna have kasot rock pillars (top gun lace)
bby busok...im dying for m-specs...
ontop of everything!!!!!!!!! look at those large fonts below!
bby busok...im soooo dying for you!!!!!!
CAN YOU TELEPORT FROM TEKONG TO MY ROOM RIGHT NOWWW??
Can i...pleaseeee...?? pleaseee agreeee....
Miss you truckloads soulja boy!

oooooooooo!

2010-04-25T00:56:00.003+08:00

Finally, we did spend QUALITY good time together for this whole week..:)

Im super ubber happy about it...We did have a good time..

Glad its him im spending my time with...
He bring me to places ive never been before this..

*Heard about it, but tk sampai-sampai*

Let us go back track...

Thursday:

Lesson was a draggy one..

Had a long discussion day in class and i almost wanted to go home early..

But my dearest Jacen came to the rescue..

He did fetch me, waiting under the heavy rain for me to get done with lesson..

He just love to surprise me when i always thought he's in camp..

Sweet of him..:)) *Susah datang...*

Friday:

Let me keep it short simple and sweet..

DVD, Magnum ice cream, Mee Maggi goreng and telor mata stitch, tit - bits ,mee soto ayam cup noodles, laughing, dancing, iphoning, newspaper, too tough-too puff and many other exciting things..!!:))

Saturday:

We head down to town for his Hugo Boss stuff..

Went round and round town the whole afternoon and walah!

He got his stuff.. Head to fich and co for dinner..

and our movie date was cancelled cuz we brought forward to today..:))

We head to esplanade, went down to boat quay, make our way to clarke quay and off back home.. We spent most of the time talking about future, snapping picas..

And i do have to admit, with him we had alot of things to say..

Im happy to see him happy...

From the way he dress up, the way he accessorize himself,

the way he smile and laugh, the way he talk...

Tells me that he is better off now me...

I can see straight through his eyes that he is happy with himself..

He always reminds me this..
"Why should i be with others, when im with you, you are my confidence.."

How sweet can he be...:)) *Jangan angkat ehk bby :P*

I sooooo wanna go Extreme G-MAX with Jacen soon!

He soooo agree....and sooo, anytime of our payday, we will go G-MAXING SWING!

Fuuuhh! saw with my own pair of eyes on that monstar thang!

Ubber cool arh!:)) I guess, after fyp i shall drag Jacen to club and drink,drank, drunk togatha!

Guess he is mentel already for jogetting..while me..gatal for highing..:P

Sooo the best time would be after FYP k sayang...

Let me get this freaking idiotic thang done first and you get your platoon settle down too...

And after the hooohaaa over, we go joli like pak maon...!

I miss you already bby...:(

See you soon and do hope ur confinement for the 2 weekends gonna be a good one..:(

Once ure out we go GMAXING!!!!!MOVIE MARATHONING!!!!! LAUGHING GAS TIME!!

Dear Allah, please watch him over for me aite..amin..:))

P/S: I want and i need a shade! And i soooooooooo the missssss my crabby paties now! Confinement quick abiz ley...!You bitchy army take my soulja away tooooo lonng!

sekool:)

2010-04-16T15:31:00.002+08:00

Se-kool reopen yesterday..
Tell you guys what..i suffer from my migrane after first day in se-kool.
Sungguh tk kool per..!
and that's the story go der!
I pening kepala sampai Jacenbby kena scold by me sey..
So drama...but seriously, i feel like dying when the migrane hit ma head der..:(

Se-kool being nice to me..
Ill be in school for 3 days and 2 days will be on OFF!
Dah macam shift lah sey..!
Alright lah kan..but still..one of the off days ill have to come back to se-kool
to do my fyp research, fyp gathering, fyp team meetings...
so the FFFF, YYYYY, PPPP!
Like WHAT THE FUCK lah kan..!
But still im happy after all..
Yesterday class was good..
Not awesome lah but good...
Almost 95% of the student..DSLM students..
and 5% DOAL students...Baik per der!
I dont give a damn..I dont really need to be so enthu sangat with class..
Sikit2 cukup...I got much more to give after se-kool...:(
Kereje lah seyyy...
I cant give much shift due to my and i wanna be on the ball this year..
So i can berambos from the school cepat2!
Dah cukuplah enjoymment during year 2..
I guess..the best part of my life in RP would be during the moments in YEAR 2..
From Climb!Republic to My Idiotic Relationship to my BAD2 moronatic breakup to Fuck Up modules with idiot classmates...!!!
Arggggh!! Im all done with those dramas!
Enough is enough...:)
Pull it through and now im all brand new SITI!
Got what i want! Back on my real track that im used to be...
ME and taqz have a good catch up with lil dessert for both of us
and i came up with a good summary from our year 2 education journey...

Well, we both went through the toughest path in life,
but still we manage to pull it through and
here we are again on the same track that we used to take and walk on it..
Believe it or not, she is always there for me no matter how much i neglected her
when i thought i was really damn happy for that moments..
I was happy but i found myself not being myself..
And that's not being honest to myself..
As for my life, i thank god i finally found back the light that ive been looking for..
Took the wrong path...and i realise the path that i took was dark and deem..
No lights, too much obstacles but yet i learn this few things...
- Friendships (Climb!Republic)
- New Life, New Friend Found (Masturina, Hafiz, Din, Lah, Etty, Azri)
- Tougher yet Nice (Swensens)
- Lost and Found (Taqinah and Efan:))
These are the things i treasure most back in my YEAR 2 in RP..
I will always remember these moments..Sweet and i keep it close to me..
Its mine and not yours...
And as for those i really hate to mention over hear..
Ive burn it all down...Goodbye Cheesepies!

And finally:)
Im in year 3...
- Brand new me (Thanks to Jacen Alvarez..)
- New classmates (more of DSLM students)
- Closer (Taqinah and all my ITE mates)
I finally found my pure happiness that i used to own it 2 years ago..:)
This is what i need...not what i want....
Heart my life...Living my life to fullest..Insya'allah...:)

Ready?

2010-04-08T14:42:00.004+08:00

wooo!wooo!wooo!
My blog starting to collect dust ever since the last time i blog..
Lol! Fucgit!:))
RP is so calling me back to school..!Damn!
And ive not been having that much of a holiday,
As ive been working hard for $$ for our future..:))
Its nice to spend tyme with him during the long weekends..
Despite of my tap water hidong and ramli sarip voice..:(
We did had a hell of good time together...
Did some shopping with our kerching-ching..**
Well spent indeed! Thanks for all the goods from him..:))
I Love You:))
Appreciate it alot..!!

He was abit mad with me about my school results,
he wants me to make a promise to do better for my final year..
Hell yeah! I ve got to buck up...In actual fact so what with good GPA?
Dah ade diploma dah settle...:))
Step bleh dpt lee kuan yew award jer...bahhh!crappucino!
Ive done my careful research for my career..
And insya'allah i will work on it...
And yeah! I did promise Jacen to do better...:))
As far as im concern if he gives me headache,
he gotta bare the consequences...!
Im serious hor bby! Im not playing a fool..:(
Very sweetly he said, "I know baby....i know..."
Sayang my soulja boy!

He will be in Tekong for the next 6 months...
And i believe by then im done with my FYP..
I dont think i got the time to meet him on weekdays...
Weekend, yes of course he have to meet me!!
I need my sweet temptation moments!
LOL!!
My life is so systematic lah kan..
But i enjoy every moment i have with him...
I guess this weekend i wanna go shopping with him to get new clothes for school...
Should i quit buying tops?
cuz my wardrobe is in a mess with clothes!wakakaka!

He did prompt me question about my future career..
And yeah! i know what is he up to..no doubt..he is ready for another level..
Insya'allah...kita merancang tuhan menentukan..
We are working on it..And as far as im concern hopefully..
If everything runs smoothly...we will proceed to the grand finale..:))
For now its tough to judge..he is ready while im not..
But im really sure how busy his life is, how much least time spend with me..
he will come back to me..just like in GUNSLINGER..:))
Im more than willing to stay cuz i know he can make me happy..

Jacen Alvarez..
Im with you...:)

"Cause with all the things we do, it dont matter when im coming home to you..
But with all that we've been through,after all this time ill be coming home to you..:))"

:)

2010-03-19T01:40:00.006+08:00

Im gonna enjoy my long weekend this week..
Finally Jacen Alvarez COMPLETE his medic course today..
So proud of my bby...not only he can drive,
he can cook, a marksman and now certified medic..
i really got no worries if i anything were to happen to me..
He can confirm safe me even if i left afew seconds to live...:)

I wasnt really having a emo tyme this week..
Basically my week was filled with laugh and smiles..
Thanks to my dearest supervisors at swensen..
Thanks to my FA family..:)
They are the best that i ever wanted...
Nothing beats these friends of mine..
I enjoy my tyme over at the cheesecake cafe..
Seriously! The banana cake was awesome!
ZIV!!! Thanks for the treat!:)
Happy banget dey!!!

Been busy the last two days at FA..
School program for the boys and....!!
Kids course on wednes was a tragic one..
Funnylah..Roy drop his iPhone in the resevoir,
weizhi saved it, iPhone saved..
Kids on course was all most BACHOLSSSS!
Kiwak, me and roy can count arh how many kids we have to layankan..
Perangai Setans!!
Trust me!Handling young kids..
is hell no fun alrigght!
My whole body was aching all over..
Feel like gg for a massage..
Hmm...i dont think i need anyone else massage..
I can get it for free from my bby jacen..
see!!add ons..he can massage!
My life is getting better...
Alhamdulilah syukur..:)

Thanks to my dearest love for making his way from ChongPang to Jurong
just to fetch me home..So sweet kan..
Love him alot...and i know he is very tired..
But never he give me excuses to make me smile..
Nice of him..i hope..
this will work, as much as he really want us to work out..
I pray, its him that will be my hubby-to-be, father to my childrens..
He is garauntee plus chop...Lelaki tulin..
Sayang Jacen byk-byk...

Cute kan My Jacenbby!
My one and only:)

think

2010-03-16T21:58:00.002+08:00

Stop talking crap and starting thinking wisely!
Ive always wanted to say this here but i keep on forgetting..:(
Pretty sad that im getting older and my memory is not so good now..
I wonder if human really make use every space
in their mind to think about anything gonna happen in life?
Do they even think before they speak out something,
be it in blog, fb or even personally face to face to someone?
My bet, only minority would even bother to think before saying something..
As far as im concern, i really gotta to bring this up..
the fact is im mature enough to THINK like a women not a girl..
SPEAK maturely not like a kiddy..
and lastly, this is for anyone who likes to think they are always better...
"JANGAN MENGAJAR ORG KALAU BELOM CUKOP ILMU DI DADA"

The reason i bring up this "think" issue here is because..
i took a whole group of youth at risk at work today...
They really acting like mane nyer big fuck jer..
Walk with open chest, talk like there is no tommorow...
Seriously, during at their last site..
I asked this boys to do some interesting moves that i really make them feel ashamed of themselves among their fellow friends and officer..
I force the boys to do the tarzan swing, which is at 7 metres height...
Next i command them to rigg up their safety device,
face the tree and fall backwards...and to my surprise...
those with angkong, shout like mane punyer brawler, maki members bachol..
in actual these KNN is the biggest BACHOLZ i ever see...
got this idiot, keep on wanna negotiate with me..
"ma'am, can i do front way, i sick arh!"
Siak arh..baru 3 mins ago he shouted at his fat friend
"KIWAK!KAU BODOH pey bachol! Terjon jelah backwards!, berani buat case tapi tk berani terjon"
I was so fucking offended lah, i tried my very best to make him feel malu...
which i really did...
after he rigg up, he shouted from the top..
"Ma'am...please...let me do front way.."
I laugh at him and i only say this to him
"next time, before you laugh at others mirror
yourself first cuz ure more or less worse than your mates"
Fuuuh...im all relieved after saying that...
Finally i make him learn something besides overcome fear for his program today..

Dont talk about karma, cuz im effing used to it...
So if you do not want bad karmas to hit you like a hurricane,
then my pretty advice would be..THINK deeply, ANALYSE carefully..
Dont just speak like there is no tommorow for you and assure that whatever you say dont come back to you...:)

I am grateful to have..
Jacen Alvarez who is always there for me..(be it near or far,that doesnt even matters anymore)
And i know very well, you have alot of things at the back of your mind..
You have been thinking and thinking....
Dont worry sayang..i will take care of you plus both your parents in future k..
Lets doakan mereka..(both our parents)
Moga, Allah panjangkan umur mereka...
murahkan rezeki mereka,berikan mereka kekuatan untuk jalani usia emas mereka...
Jauhi kanlah mereka dari malapetaka yang akan menimpa..
Dan kita mohon agar dosa mereka di ampun kan..
Amin...

I love you sayangku muhammad noh muti...
Sesungguhnyer ya tuhan, ku hargai setiap pemberian yang kau berikan padaku..
Ku bersyukur...:)

Mummy and baba...
Please...wait for me...
Cuz i still need you both in my life...
i sayang you both...please....

Time Missed!

2010-03-09T00:59:00.002+08:00

Brrr...just got back from work now..
Damn it...Been torturing my body ever since last 3 months..
In fact i did see alot of difference in me now lately..
Been sleepy late, woke up at 1pm..
Left the house f0r work, reach home at 12 plus..
All shagged and exhausted for 7 hours of standing, 30 mins of sitting..
I do sound like a robot dont i?
tew!tew!tew!
I have no idea when is a good time for me to have a rest?
Hell ive no idea...hate time soo much...
Time simply so evil...
Serious, it is so much evil than before...:(
This cycle gonna repeat till end of my last week of school holidays...
Which means, to be exact...One more month of hell..:\
Shoootttt!

Miss my bacin right now...
He's having a good time in camp killing zombies...:(
while im at home now updating my blog, watching music videos..:P
So kind of like not much of a diff..lalalala!
Cant wait to meet him again this weekend..
I soooo wanna make it up to our last weekend outing..
Mane tak, me having PMS..he having sleeping problem..
So we kind of like having bad romance this week..
SOOOOO LIKE NOT US LEERRR!
Salahhh lah sey...:(
15th come quick! Dear,lets go and have chocolate moments!
Ive been craving for it for weeks...:(
Wonder what am i up for this weekend with him..
Feels like having steak...i wanna have sirloin steak this weekend..
but where ehk...???
I think i shall wait for my bossman for his words..:)

Im all feeling better...
Miss lulubooluu right now..
I need to catch up alot of things with her..
i just miss spending time at coffee house and chat all our minds off..
Cherish those happy moments...
I need to think of something to meet her up really soon..:))
Hmmm...ogie did tag me about meeting up..
So.....should we just have one night with the jackass at Timbre next weekend?
I think that shouldnt be a bad idea...:P
Shall tag Mr Jacen along...:)

I so need a rest right now..
Need to get up for work tommorow...
5-11pm shift..fuuuhhh.....
My happy face is glowing...
I think i can get that oakley shades really soon..
Adious!Bye!

TGIW story!

2010-03-07T01:27:00.005+08:00

Finally, this week gonna end soon..
Im waiting for Forest pay and i will be able to breathe..
again...27th come quick..swensen pay...!!!
:)

Got so angry with Jacen today..
In fact he have been kena scold from me,
a couple of times this week..
Ey helllo...!!I angry because i PMS k..
Pity sayanng...
Today he wasted half of our day for his sleep...
I waited for half a day,
When he finaly woke up and say....
He got a bad backache..!:/
Nak marah, kesian..So all i did was..
"Its okielah baby..next time inform me earlier.."
Nvmd k baby...Lau u complain tk cukup jumper i..
Not my tai chi k love..:(
But we did meet up, went to town..
Had our dinner, jalan2 and did our exclusive moments together..
So yar..i was angry intially but when i met him..
I cair...kesian my bby...
He have always been there for me..
tired ker,ngantok ker, letih ker, setengah mati ker...
He still stand by me...:)
I cant ask for much, cuz i dont wanna trouble him..
ILOVEYOU!!

Hahaha!TGIMGF...
LOL!!Nyahhh...Its like so obvious..!!
Im better...kate dah tk sayang...
Asal nk self-update pasal ex kau(Jacen)
Jealous issit.........
You want him back??
Take lah....*only if he wants to*
You took half of his life away and now you wanna try hanging around him..
You gotta be dumb lah...dont eat your words...
Nanti berak2 kuar alphabets sey...
Uh.....!!!
You let him cry on his feet to ask you back..
You confidently say you dont love him for the past 2 years..
Wah!!now you wanna linger...no,no,no way...!
Quit playing games with his heart..
Your lost for kicking his ass off from your life..
And aku pick him up...I see him smile again..
I see him laugh again...i give him another chance to breathe..
So tell me if you dare taking him away FROM ME??
Well if you wanna do so...
You just throw ur life to me for free girl...
I will let you taste my fist for free...:))

I FIND HUMAN IS SO, TOTALLY RIDICULOUS..
Lau benci asal self-update?
Lau tk sayang asal cemburu?
Lau despise asal barang2 masih simpan dlm gerobok?
Lau tk suker, asal susah nk jatohkan barang?
Bukan tk mintak ehk...dah naik lemas bual cara baik...
So suggest arh aku nk buat aper skrg..?
Susah ker nk BERDEPAN?
Jgn risaulah,
NEVER I WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU AGAIN...
even if JACEN dont exist in my life now...:)
Cuz the day wen i finally open up my eyes and i started to laugh and smile again...
Is when my friends from the forest, from the kopi stand up with me..
You disgust me my whole entire life..
So what if you despise me...???
BIG FUCK ARH? tak mati arh...:\
Same goes to you Farhan...
Hopefully mak janda tu bleh kasi kau happy sampai kau tua..
Tkyah susah2 carik aku den step kesian..BOH CHI lah lu!
Hidop tk menentu, nk kesiankan org...jaga diri tu baik2..
Sblom jaga hidop orang lain...!
I seriously.....!!!
Effing tired of my exes....
They dont worth a single cents of my hard work...
Even if im single, Jacen have not yet anywhere to be exist, looking at the past..
It really disgust me...i willing to be single lah sey...

TGTMBF!
He is the only one i need...

The best part of you bby,
You enjoy being yourself..
Plus, seeing you like this makes me happy..
I assure you, that i wont fake this relationship..
For im really sure tt is what you need...

Goodnight world!

Precious

2010-03-02T01:04:00.004+08:00

In life, we cannot expect everything to be so perfect

as much as we want it to be..

As far as im concern,every humans including me

live in imperfections...

This aint any random post i usually post out..

Its because, i lost a good friend of mine last Saturday..

And i sense a great lost in me...

Though...he is not close to me...

firstly, i remember he's the one that took the guts to approach me

back in ITE..He kept on smilling at me...

He randomly pop out in my MSN asking me about life..

But everything was over, when Nisa broke the news to me that he passed away on a motorbike accident...I broke down and in actual fact i dont believe such a nice man like him,

have to go home that early to meet HIM...

My prayers will always be with you bro..

Salleh Aries,
Moga tuhan cucuri rohmu,
dan tempatkan kamu dikalangan org2 yang soleh..

Al-Fatihah,amin...

I heard alot of random issues regarding..

Friendships, relationships this few months..

Been giving much supportive words assuring

these people dont do anything stupid just to ease their pain...

Sometimes, we cant solely depend so much on friends

for fun and living...they can be there but after sometime..

they still have their own things to do...

At times, we got to be strong to face challenge ourselves..

Have the faith in ourselves that we can stand on our two feet

and fight against any odds..

Giving up are just short phrases

that will make you feel better only

for a short while..:))

Im giving the best i have in me to make sure..

Everything goes smoothly...

I cant deny that, at one point..

I will face chaotic times...

And for im really sure..

im ready for it...:)

With you(Jacen Alvarez),

Im treasuring every single precious moments i had with you..

Moments when we laugh our way from one end to another end..

Moments watching you sleep...

Moments you hold me tight and never let me go..

Moments you see straight into my eyes and say "Baby, I Love you"

Moments listeming to all your jokes, your bad days, your problems..

Moments you kiss my hand when you wanna say sorry..

Moments you kiss my forehead and bid me goodnight..

Moments you rushing off to meet me from waking up late..

Moments waking you up when i know it takes a hundred man to wake you up..:(

Moments we chatted the whole night long...

Last but not least..

Moments when you say...

"You're in my heart, and no one can have me back..You're way,way,way much better than anyone else...We will get married, i assure you that..:))"

And apart from all from the above...

No one else can take those exclusive moments from me or even

Taking you away from me..

Not even that poker face...

Cuz to get you, they have to get through me...

Sayang...

Thank you for being there for me,

when times are hard or easy...

I appreciate it alot..

Thank you for accepting my imperfections..

And that really makes me appreciate and love you till i close my eyes..

You're one of a kind..

My precious gems that i wouldnt wanna exchange for anything better..:))

Ego

2010-02-24T14:47:00.007+08:00

Something bothers me the whole day today...

Something that is in me that set me to think...

Sometimes i find myself confused..

Growing older but still my attitude varies from time to time..

I didnt mean to hurt anyone with my ego..

Maybe life and experience pull me down so much..

And there's where my ego comes about..

I wonder..

Will my ego let him think otherwise about me?

Can he accept that little imperfection of mine...

But for im really sure..

I will try my very best to minimise this ego in me...

Hey past..

Ive buried you down ..

And im pretty sure, you're dead..

If you comes back alive i will assure you will dies with my own bare hands...

So stay down there and dont move a inch..

My apology to you..

For im really sure,

you've been thinking about my ego..

I didnt mean it...

From the bottom of my heart, i dont wish you to face me now after all those bad times i had before you..Cuz i noe its unfair to you...

I felt realy,really bad...

And for your assurance i will tappered it down..

i mind about it cuz its for our benefits too..

I thank god that it was you that handle me..

And i finally found someone who knows my weakness

but still never he wanna take advantage of it..

never he leaves hanging with no reasons on my weakness..

Thank you for bringing up things in me..

I will be better cuz i know you will be there,

never let me go and you're staying with me...

Dear Allah..

I went through so much hurt, hard times and pain all this while..

By sending him to me now, makes my life meaningful..

Please dont take him away from me..

All i need is his words, present and touch...

Ill be crippled without him...

So please.....dont take anything away from me..

For at least...

Allow me treasure and cherished him while i can...

I wanna grow old with him..

And watch our kids grow with him..

Lastly, i wanna catch my last breathe

in his arm and with our kids around...

Please....

Amin....

p/s: iloveyou superhero

Sweet and sour:)

2010-02-22T01:07:00.003+08:00

Its that the choice you gave me??
You effing know i wont heed it...
Im all old enough and not to be treated like a child..
Im not primary school students that need to be spoon feed all the time...

I am the one who face all those chaos all this while..
You're not even there when times are hard for me..
Hell yah..thanks for helping me to get my new lappy..
Thanks for everything and that was before..
For like finally, i realise now...i was wrong..
You set me to think...
I thought you could understand but...
Sadly..ure not...
As you wishlah huh...
Penalyse me all you want..
Dont worry, im good at holding on to things..
And you know couldnt care -a-less..
So be it!!!

I met my Jacen yesterday...
Didnt turn for my morning shift cuz im having diarrhoea..
Pain sey my bontot...:((
He send to the doctor and im all fine today...
Thank you sayang...:))
so sweet if him..
We almost had tiff because i waited for him all alone at Yishun..
But the best thing about us is...
Each time we gonna have a tiff, we automatically tone down and talk things out..
Susah marikan..:))Sweet skali...
we dont react on impulse cuz we both believe its redundant..
I did had a bad day on sunday..
Thanks to him im all smilling again...
And i know he will always be there for me no matter what..
Im pretty sure he is the one that i need with me..
iloveyou ganteng * handsome in indonesia*

Saturday was great!!
Went to sentosa for tanning..
And guess what!!
My sayang never tan before alright..,
So suci dlm debu sey my sayang..:P
Had his first layer of tanned skin..
The only thing that surprise me is that he turn out to be so redlah...
Lobster boy!!
Cutelah sangat....:))
Good lepark saturday..
Swimming across the pahlawan beach..
Intimidating ppl around us..lol!!
Sorry...:))
Sweet dinner over at marina abd we head back home!:P
another shocking thing is that..
He agree to do a follow up on his tanning session next saturday..
Weeeeeeee!!
See adapting is not that really hard..
Weather you willingly wanna try and adapt it or not..
But i garauntee you sayang...
You will have a nice tanned skin if you bare with it for a couple of sessions..
Tanning is so cooollahhhh..
Jantan kental jer takot panas..bacholz!!
duduk dlm gerobok k??
Jadi tk kene panas..:(

I really miss him alot right now..
Bacin, i cant wait for the ring..:))
and Yeay! Thanks alot for that hubby...
Im so in love with you...<3

Before i end this post..
Afew things i would love to share to my dearest gfs..

My dearest best gf..
U know its kind of hard for you to let it go..
You gave more than just everything to mend up the last break up..
And again it broke again..
Love..even if you think there's no one for you..
You jolly well noe im here..
Im always here..dont keep everything to yourself!!!
You said you moved on..
But i noe its kind off bullshitlah..
You wanted to cry wen u saw me..
So tell me if u effing have let him go already...
Dont lie to me okie..as far as im concern..
You and me, we can nvr hide things from each other..
Sooo plssss..dont do this again..
My prayers will always be with you..
Take care sayang...
U will always be the best gf ever..
Never a bestfriend, never a foe..
Ure my family..:))
loveyou nurulfazlina!!

Fitraa suhaili..
You are still young..
You still have long way to go...
Dont waste it for nothing..
Accept things for the good experience yoy had with that person..
At this age you shud be making more new guy friends..
Just make sure you dont become a bitch sudahlah..
My warning to you!!!
Let him go..sooner or later your prince charming will come for you..
And you know at this young age you should think about enjoying..
Dont waste your tears for something good..
Save it for something better okie!!
Get you feet back on track..
You still have me and FA to rock your ass off..
And you can still carik jodoh at FA..
All the makerl and pumlek are there for you...:))
lol!! Just remember this babe..
This is my strong and sweet advice..
Whatever happens..
Smile:)) and walk away..
Look at the brighter side and set urself a good goal for you to achieve..
You know i will always be there for you..
Sayang kamu..:))
please dont give me sour face the next time i see you at FA!!!:/

Love

2010-02-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

Im all dead again after sending him back to camp..
Tell me if its enough, my honest answer would be no..
I keep on missing him when i know the time for is so short,
Been through this before, and im pretty sure,
i can make it again this time..its hard, but demi cinta...
I go against all odds, i will persevere this through...

Our weekends, CNY....
damn it! Its like everywhere we go all closed
and PACKED..lucky we have each other to keep each other occupy..:))
Wasnt in a good state of enjoyment, due to work..
I was working on saturday,cny eve..sunday,cny all shop are closed,
mon i have to work and left with today im off..
So tell, do u think i hv enough time??
Hwell no lah..:(
I was hoping for sunday to be a good day..
But due to that stupid casino opening,
we both wknt be able to enjoy our sweet plans..
I was freaking pissed and tell me lah..
U plan a great outing on a perfect off day, his not in camp..
But it was ruin by stupid situation like long queue to enter sentosa,
movie was damn sucks and full house,
shop closed! Like WTF arh...
Thank god we both can hv back up plans lah..
Seriously tk perlu arh situation nie mcm...
Wasted half a day...:(
I blame the organisation for ruining our sweet plan..

Met him today, soo yar..
As usual down to town, grab his adidas top..
Supposed to get his dad's adidas long sleeve top,
but he got for himself instead..b...b...:))
Like korg tgk arh, mcm fuck up kan..
My 2nd off day, tonight he's back iN camp...
Im so angryyyy...://
We did have good talk with each other regarding us..
Apparently, both of us seems to worried bout each other..
But sayang....remember,
no matter what, im here to stay…
and nothing can seperate us....
Im here without you is already hard enough..
So what makes me thing losing you is gonna be easy..
I bet if that were bound to happen, it will be toughest idiot thing for me to face...
And you the answer to all the question that you wanna prompt to me..
I will stay rooted to all my decision..
Its fixed and nothing can sucked me down..
Even how hard they try...

Ya Allah,
Ku mohon padamu tuhan..
Kau kuatkanlah semangat hamba mu ini..
Berikanlah kedua hambmamu ini keselesaan
untuk meneruskan bahtera cinta ini..
Kau restukanlah perhubungan kami..
Kau tunjukkanlah kami kejalan yg kau redhai..
Kurniakankah kami dgn hati yg cekal agar dpt kami tempuhi segaka rintangan..
Ya allah..
Sesunggihnyer kami ini hambamu yg lemah..
Kau bantulah kami ya tuhan..
Kami mohon...
Amin...

P/S: My cinta..our love remains the same....
And you very well that i wont let our love fray,
that easily no matter what...
I will be right here waiting for you..
Cuz you deserve my waiting...:)
iloveyou jacen alvarez....

jeng,jeng..kejeng...!

2010-02-13T14:07:00.004+08:00

Alright....last week was a well planned week..:))

Did my boyfriend's birthday surprise over at khairah' crib..

Through the whole i did a couple of surprise for him..

I gave him his birhday present in advance..

He wasnt expecting it to be the replacement of his Rusty ring that he lost over at Sentosa...

(I was pissed lah!)
But sayang...i replace it with a new ring..:))

Calvin Klein Jeans Jewellery..

Towards the end of the week..on Fri we went out our norms..

Then on Saturday i gave him another birthday surrprise..

A bake him a brownie cake just for my dear2..

hahahaha! It was a success alright..

Sorry girls who cant bake for nuts..:P

We head down to town..
To have or dinner and we head home after fish and co..
It was pleasant birthday surprise for him..
i do hope he likes it..
But im sure he likes..right sayang..?
hehehehe!

For im sure....i really enjoy every weekend i have with him..
Like this week..long weekends..
Its like...weekend there's always things to do without fail...
TGI its weekend..!
Im sooooo gonnna look forward for tommorows outing..
We are going over to Sentosa and hopefully Max brenner wish come true..:((
(Only if they open during CNY, im praying...:\)
Hell yar! Bought myself new bikz from rippycurly..
Damn! Thanks to deary! God! I love it!
Soooo gonna put it on...i likkkeee...:P

Can i request everyday will be like this for me and him..?
But too bad, i dun think so i can have that opportunity..
Cuz....he's off to tekong for 3 months for instructing and ill be stuck in school for FYP..
So salah!!!!jeng, jeng..kejeng tol!
Okkie..like today...im updating this pathetic blog over at the office..
Lepak kan...cny eve...
Not much participants...and so, i can duduk mkn gaki buta...!
8 buck per hour facebooking and updating blog..
baik kaper?
K..he's fetching me soon..for movie and dinner...:P
Sayang quick wake up!

Errooor!

2010-01-26T13:59:00.006+08:00

Im so freaking tired right now..

We had kayaking expedition yesteday down at NRSCC to Mana2 Resort..
We did it thru and fro...wah! So Erroor lah dey.....
Lucky i ever paddle before...so like wtf ar...
Thank you dragon boat, for at least i have the endurance the whole expedition...

Biaselah...org sporty...mcm i...susah datang....chey..:p
But now im suffering from backache..

Worse liyana heard my bone gave out "keterk" sound..
Scary shoot or wat??
I know you gonna be worried about it dear..
No worry, ur baby strong..:))

Alright...so how's my weekend??

Friday was awesome...
Saturday so the Avventure...
Sunday thrilling...:)

I had so much sinful food and dessert galore with my love..
We had Anderson Ice cream, Carls Jr Oreo Milkshake (So Sinful..but effing delicious)...

Lepak under the Singapore Flyers looking at the stars..

Singing our hearts out...:)) Sweet kan boyfriend gue...
Saturday we went to Sentosa for Megazipping...lol!
I seriously feel megazip is not worth paying and bore to the core...(sorry sayang, u paid for a bore adventure trip with me..)

We stroll around the island and having so much fun by the beach with his imaginations..:))
Barcadi Freezer in our hands, kissing by the beach and snuggling with each other..<3

Secret Recipe dinner by the bay...:))

Gemok or wat sey i baby...:\
Tell me if 3 course meal is not fattening plus banana chocolate cake for dessert..??

Look at this...

Im soooo full lah after dinner...Cant even walk properly..

But i had a great night with him...from the beginning till the end...

Met my love after work to catch a movie..

So yeah, we did catch toothfairy and its kinda of a good show..

7 out 10..

How? Im satisfied with the story line..

The fact is fairytale exist for kids..

Dont destroy kid's dream....:))

But the most thrilling part on Sunday was that.....

I met his both parents in one shot..

Lucky i put on something covered...

No flesh exposed...hahaha....

Wow! NERVOUS LAH sey...:

But it went well so far..ive yet to hear something good from both his parents...

Hahaha...sayang...
ur time will come...
You have to meet not only 2 but 6 person...

That's including ur future in laws...hahahaha!!

Damn..! Isnt it that cool...??

Hell yah! Our weekends never gone to waste....:P

Im so looking forward for this weekend...

Another avventure activity maybe??

Im so in love lah dey....

Muhammad Noh Muti...

Kau Tercipta Untukku...

Dearest Jacen,
Its been quite sometime, since the last time i am able to love again...
You took all those sadness and anger away from me...Giving me the ability to love again when you know i hate men after all those craps i go through...Everything went so fine when the first time i met you...the way we had our first conversation...You totally change my perception towards man..You bring me back to life and for im sure this is the love that im looking for, im craving for and wanna own it for sure...You gave me the wings to fly again..and the best part of you is...You can handle me at my worse, never you gave up...you are there guiding me slowly giving me the opportunity to learn the things that you have said...You dont hang me lose, you're there motivating me and encourage me..You totally deserve me at my very best..You have the things that i need in a man...You're mature enough to handle yourself, your emotions and your mind. You took every courage to make me love you so much..I appreciate every single moves you did for me...Be it, your love,your care, your share and yourself especially...

I do hope this love journey we had will last till infinity...
And im sure, this will work...I bet we did all the talk about us..
For that im pretty sure, we can handle things much more mature..
Thank god! You're the one...
The one who wants to talk things out...
The one who dont run away from problems..
The one who dont have secrets between us...
The one who make me smile,laugh and scream...
The one who know how to treat me right...
Most importantly...
The one who fixed his mind to settle down with me...
WOW!JACKPOT SITI!
And i confirm...gonna treat you well like how you treat me...
So,so,so lucky....
And i wanna say thank you once again my love..
You're not the one i want...
But the one i need for my whole entire life...
Lets rock this relationship and take it slowly to the next level..P/S: Thank god, im not anymore with any of those wrong choices of men in my life...Else i wont be able to meet you and love you and you treating me like a queen...Maybe now im still crying and fighting because of immature actions..:\ Thank you to all my wrong choice...you guys are not good enough for me...not even to my standard...i lowered myself just to love you guys but still all down to drain...So long suckers..climb slowly lah hah? yada,yada,yada with your own love fantasy..Worse, dont do the things i do to you guys to ur girls cuz it is so fake! :)

Dear2...you know...
I will always love you and you know you're way,way much better...
keep on rockin' and make me go grrrrr all the time k?

mind and mine

2010-01-18T11:49:00.003+08:00

Looking things is much more positive side..

Be it hard or easy...ill brave it thru..

My mind is fixed..

Whatever is in my mind, will be mine..

Braving thru every single perceney with you my love...<3

Wonderful Saturday i had with my dearest...
We can never run out of ideas for our outings
This week outing would be my idea...
hahahaha! Sentosa!
As usual...me and my beach...:))
I wanna bring him to megazip lah....
An adventure outing with him..
Zippppped slideeeee...!!!

Can i just have a little more time with you?
Can i just have that privillege to have you in my bed every night?
Can i ijust have that space of our own to live in?
All i need is you and that's all that i need...

Javen Love:
Letting you go home is already hard enuff what more if we are not together, everytime we're away from each other my life became a dark pit swallowing my very sanity..How much do i need you??very much like the air that i breathe....

far away!

2010-01-13T21:49:00.004+08:00

He's on the phone nw with me but yet i miss him so......
Listen to him sharing about his medic course,
and as usuals i will start my trumpet moments bout schools!
Sooo cute my deary..

Jacen Love: Baby....I miss you.......
Audrealita Siti: Awwwww....me toooo dear..*sad voice*
Jacen Love: *He did his cute meew2 voice at me* You know what b..
Audrealita Siti: What issit love....?
Jacen Love: When i was gyming yesterday, the gym played the sing whatca say...it reminds me of you lah b...ur ringtone..
Audrealita Siti: Really...awww.....you remember what ringtone i use?
Jacen Love: Yeah....even though i dont know that song...
Audrealita Siti: Awww.....you ingat....* heart crashes like hell!!!! setan also scared!*

I really cant explained why, but what matter most...
I do missed him alot when he is so far away from me...
Didnt turn up for work today..seriously im really sicked!
My hormones are changing and everything doesnt seems right...
My eating appetite went down...
My body got so tired and lerthagic really easily...
But thanks to my dearest friends at work, who really understands me..
Thank you appreciate it alot...

Really missed my starbucks kopi gangsters...
I dont know why...the memories back in SB struck my mind the whole day today...
From the larmazocco coffee machine to mastrena coffee machine...
All the sweet and bitter memories run down my memory lane...
Wish im still working at SB with the kopi gangsters again...
Walking up in the morning, doing opening...
Brewing COD and setting up the pastry case...
Listens to class 95 while topping up ice bin..:(
Hate lunch slam!
Non stop hits! especially the students!
I love closingssss!
but still, its redudant for me to talk about it now..:(

I dont know how long more will i stay at swensen...
Im still considering...maybe im looking for another job profession that can allow me making coffee...tt's all i care...

Saturday will have UT 2 for kayaking..
Hell!!! Capsizing!!
K now im gonna wait for my love to be back to his company and call me...
Gonna do my RJ now...
Hari2 also RJ...RanJiao!:\
i sooo miss him alot right now...
Love...
Why are you so far away...??
Can you like fast forward the course??
So we can spend more time??
Ish! Weekends not enough noe deary...:(
But nvmd..
i will patiently countdown the days to ur graduation..:))
I sayang you kental...(you call me pantat!)
I just cant wait for this Saturday cuz i noe its worth waiting...
See you soon my love...:)

Star!

2010-01-11T13:56:00.005+08:00

Another day in school..
I hate weekdays...
Schooling, Working and Missing my love..:(
Seriously sucks....!
I have to be strong!Allehz!!

Missing him right now..
He's in camp in lecture room listening to his officer giving medic lecture..
Pity you love...For at least i do discussion..
BUT still!!!!
School sucks!!!PBL!!
Im sick and tired of it...
For the benefit of my love knowledge..
What is PBL?
Its Problem Based Learning..
Done!Not gonna touch on that further to you love...

Saturday!!!
I dont know why...Saturday is my favourite day...
For now till the next 2 months...
Causeee.....Thats the only day i can meet my STAR!!
The last saturday we met,
We went down town shopping like moviestar and hell!!!
He terrified me on the things he spend on me..
Luckily im not those girls who take advantage of people's generousity...
But what matter most...
Thank you my STAR!
AND the most important thing is.....
I finally!!!
Got my Iphone..:)
And my love tooo......
Great! Weekends like i mention...
Got almost everything ive been holding back for so long...
I love Saturday!!!

1 day down...4 more days to go...
We planned our short weekends yesterday night...
And i bet we so gonna like it...
Comfy and homely...:))
And im still figuring out what to do on his birthday...
So the coming soon...
hmmmmm........
I need my power brain to do something for him...
Ive made my mind to assure that his birthday this year will be a better one compared to past years he celebrated it...:)

All i care is...
I wanna mit him right now, right away!
Look at what he text me yesterday night..
WOW!! Look how much he miss me...

Jacen Love:
My baby, I miss u so much..
Its killing me just yearning for your touch.
Your hugs and kisses haunts my every anatomy
and sends chills just thinking about them..
I yearn for the day to see u again baby..
I really miss you:(

Sayang.....
From the morning wake up calls..
Late night laughs...
The cheeky talks...
The sad sharing moments...
Motivational session...
You know that i treasure you alot...
Im sure ure the one for me..
The one that can treat me well...
Im not scared anymore..
Cuz i know...
Im safe with you..
Im happy with you..
I wanna grow old with you..
Like you say...
Wanna watch our kids grow together...
And im so gonna agree of living with you till infinity....<3
I LOVE YOU JACEN ALVAREZ....
:))

Home!

2010-01-04T14:56:00.005+08:00

Damn! back in school!

Guess what! Im late as usual..

Can never be on time..:(

Gotta really do something about it..

If this pro long..I might say goodbye to As and Helloooo Ds!

Siak! :\

I actually misread my time table..

Im supposed to go for water based lesson but i die,die thought its CCM lesson..

so yar...i went blank! And i was 30 mins late...nothing's new aite?

Nabu! i have cock eyes now!

Nevermind!!!!

Basically, i did pretty good for the last week of holiday...

Did some healthy lifestyle activities...

From rollerblading to bouldering...

Damn!!Hell i have alot of fun with my JSB!

Honestly, my baby did all the plannings and all slide down so smoothly...

WOW!! i like..........

Shannon, nick and gee tag along during our date...

So kinda feeling really good bout that..

The more the merrier...:P

My life is filled with beautiful colours right now...

Not just colours but you beautify it with your sincerity...

Thank you my love...

I can feel it's beating again...

I can feel it giving the space to him again..

And i used think that this heart is shut for good!

Thank god, i finally can feel this heart beat, beats like im really being love...

And i know..im on the right track...

With him around, i know im safe...With him around, i know im home...

The love he gave me is not only just love...

Its more than just how you spell the word L.O.V.E..

You can take anything else from him...

You can bait him with anything you think it will work on him...

But i noe his heart is my hands...forever....

And nothing can sepearate us...(tts what my syg say okie)

Cuz we know we are ok...

Nothing beats his smile, touch and kisses...

Nothing beats his sincerity...For all you wanna know...

His the best! And the rest are just my past that i hate to rigged up again...

Sorry...

The best turns out to be the worse...

And the good turns out to be ugly!

My dear...

You knew exactly, where is your home now...

down here...

...

.....

...

.....

in my heart....:)

Please linger...

BRING BACK MY BABY BACK TO ME NOW!!

NEE SOON CAMP!!! YOU'RE SO EVIL!!!

Is this love?

2009-12-25T12:26:00.003+08:00

Hahhahaa...christmas eve was great...:)
Thank you bsb'qu....ure the best indeed...

Again, we had a unexpected outing..

Went out down town with love...

Kind of pack plus i had too crowdy places..

So does muhamad noh!:\

Before that evening, love did a surprise for me...

He told me that he wont be booking out for christmas..

and so yar, i did believe him...

hate his medic course!kidnap him from me for 3 months!

kanina!So he call me up in the morning,

he said that..

"b, wake up alright...i ask my friend to send the surprise to you over at your block at 3pm.."

I was shocked like hell or wat!

i dont have any choice, i woke up and its only 8 am!!

love!!!!!!

why do you have to do this to me...??

So yar i get myself ready by 2.30pm...

And guess what??!!

When i get out of the lift..

i saw my jungle man standing in front of the lift with his filter pack and all..

i almost die of heart attack when he was standing in front of the lift!

Awwwww..love....love you lots....

So we made our way to raffles...

We stroll all they way to citylink to get his top..

and something bad happen to him...

And you know lah...!

damn he worry me so much till i can hardly breathe..

Afterall we had so much,much fun...

From the time i met him till the time he send me in front of my door..:)

Thank you my jungle man, bsb'qu...:)

Boyfriend Serba Boleh!

He plan to bring me out for a long date tommorow..

I gotta a feeling..that tommorow gonna be a good,good night..

yeay!!!

Thanks to HIM i found him...

Making me laughing..

Got me thinking from the time i woke up...till i fall asleep..:(

I hate June cuz he will be at tekong for instructor deployment for the new intake!!

CB! arrggghhh....!!!!

Nvmd sweetheart..

i wait k...:)

im so all in love..

is this love??:)

A few updates..i met up with my dearest lulu!

as usuals...gossip plus shopping...:)

i love you lulu...

i tell you a secret k..

i miss you a little bit more than my bsb..:)

shhhshh....

lets have some more fun when we are free next month k syg..

ill drop by tcc den we eat jalan kayu...:)

So yar...life never been better..

im all complete..but not really...

I have my gerek, trusted, true friends around me...

Swensen family, the non stop hitz penat!

And Forest Family...grow and awesome shit people!

I have my beautiful family at home..:)

Lastly...i finally found someone, my love..

(this man is 2 in 1 k..)

All that ive always wanted...:)

Thank YOU..

I appreciate it alot..amin...

Love<3

2009-12-22T01:59:00.003+08:00

From the day i started smilling for all kind of reason..
I finally end it with a laugh..Thanks to my jungle man....:)

Used to think i have everything in the world...
But now you're making the world like a kelab malam to me...
Its kinda tricky...
but the whole pic here..
Im yours...

And i still believe in..
smile whatever happens in life...
plus...patience is vitue..:))

I love you sweetheart...<3
Alermak!
Now i go cintaholic and workaholic!
Damn...:(

hari hari punye story

2009-12-12T01:38:00.004+08:00

Like finally today is saturday....

here i go again blabbering my week...

For all i care i come to school this without fail ok!

Seriously...as much i m really tired...

i have to really drag these cute lil feets to school..

Exceptional for today...

i didnt went for OL module..

Reason because i hate Pamela...cb...

I dont know why is she so picky on me but..

nvmd...went for my UT and lagi mcm siak..

Comp lack on me when i open my pre readings..

haiz....kesian aku...so die2, paper lor...:(

Hopefully. from the untidy rushing handwrittins..

A will be given to me as my grade for Challenge Course UT..

*doa* amin...:)

So ive been working 4 days straight...

and im my shoulders are stiff now...

supposingly, ive planned for zouk out this year...

which is tommorow...but i back off..just for work...

hell ya...everyone turns out to be..

Lovaholic (gila cinta),

Exercise'holic (gila exercise),

Alcholic (gila todi),

Clubaholic (gila clubbing)..

APPARENTLY ME...

workaholic (gila keje)..:)

I noe im so freakin into work now...

maybe due to ke-single'an kan..

so yar..ive been spending time..

with colleagues and work...

as long im happy im gonna continue...

Dont see the need to rush for someone...

cuz...by doing such acts

that shows how weak are you being independent...

I hate people calling me weak...

I hate people saying me "makan hasil jantan"

I hate people saying me "pompuan bodoh"

I hate people look down on my competency...

Yes, maybe im always too late

getting my head hitted on the walls over and over again

but i think its never too late for,

guys to feel how i feel after being used..:)

The time will come...

and everyone will get the chance..

Sorry for my arrogance..

and i learn my lesson...:)

Orang bodoh jer nk lukakan hati byk2 kali...

Sorry for my ego...

because of guys i jadi turn bodoh...

Once i got a bf in future..

then ill be bodoh again...

not any soon...

so stay tune...:)

wait?

2009-12-08T00:51:00.004+08:00

why do i have to wait...?

why cant this effing flu just go away now...

sick,sick,sick...

why waiting makes me wonder?

Isit worth waiting for you???

Worried,worried,worried...

what's with wait man?

Can i say, whatever i did to you...you did it to someone else now?

flying high, flying high, flying high...

One day...
HE shows wat it means to wait.....
with,
patience...

One thing...

TIME DOESNT WAIT

I dont wish wasting anytime in waiting
FOR SOMETHING UNCERTAIN...

NO i WONT..

But then again..you said..

Please...wait for me....

LOVE ACTUALLY

2009-12-06T18:03:00.005+08:00

Its already sunday...

Sitting in my bedroom, feeling cleopatra...

With my comforter, my lappy on my stomach..

Foot loops as my desert,fever and flue as my course meal...:(

And the best part was that, it's raining outside...

I dare not to switch on my fan neither the hitachi aircon..

Else i'll turn blue in a second...

Im supposed to work for this weekend..

My health deteriorate slowly....

I cant control it anymore..

and on friday...i let my sickness take over me...

And yeah...finally..im sick..:)

I miss the whole bunch of FA family...

I do hope they are doing fine out there up in the trees...

Down the zipline and rescuing chol kids...

hahahaha...

Shudup siti...!!

Wait till zana read this post!

Alright..back on track...

Working with gogobambini this weekend...

Helping a friend as they need experience cafe barista..

*shake butt*

Im earning 60 bucks per day..

So i take up 2 weekends..

Sat and Sun..

And that would be 120 bucks...

phuck!! That easy or wat??

LOL...:))

Love is everywhere in general..
When love turns out to be...
Sympathy or to change someone..
that is what i call intentions...
Love actually happens all by itself..
It grow by itself...and sometimes...
fade by itself...
Only those who are blessed by HIM...
will stay...till the end....

Im baking cupcakes this week..
The base with icing too...:)

Im so freaking happy with life...

No stress..no commitment..

No report strength...no nerves bursting..

No late night calls...No dinner...

NO NOTING....!!

No need at the moment....:)

I believe in patience...
So...let time take its lead..
Im free to breathe....
Why bother so much about love afterall...??

You talk jamaican languange..

You behave lika asian people...

So who are you?

BAd

2009-12-01T00:28:00.002+08:00

It sucks to feel the pain..

It sucks to carry such pain..

It sucks to face the pain...

It sucks to go through this bloody gundu pain....!!!!:\

Didnt really get adequate rest lately...

Yesterday night was really BAD!!!!

I really hate talking on the phone till morning..

But i have to really effing listen to people problem and giving them advice..

Till i have to bare with lots of pain...

My abs aches...

My arms aches...

My shoulder blade hurts...

When i cough, my chest hurts..

My eyes got infected by dust and mascara...

Aiyoy!!!

A week of pain i guess...

REALLY BAD!!!!

Ive done my pre-schedule for the month of DECEMBER...

Im in love with DECEMBER...:)

I beautify my calender with work loads...:p

So im divided into 4 parts...

Family at home

Family at Swensen

Family at Hutan Bedok

last but not least....

to whom really need my companion..;)

PLEASE TEXT ME FOR ANY BOOKINGS...

THANK YOU..

It takes to hands to clap...

Two fingers to snap....

You make me smile...:)

YOU

2009-11-24T23:59:00.005+08:00

Shagged!!!

Im off again tommorow..

Free from both job...:))

But i seriously feel much,

much happier with both jobs currently..

Forest Adventure is my super duper HAPPY PILLS..

Swensen is my GOSSIP PILLS!

Thank YOU for bringing me closer to these people...

AWESOME SHIT!

I got my instructor polo-t today!!!

Yeay!Bravo! Did patrolling and guess what?

I met people who is a AYAM to me at FA today..:\

Then we end our hectic shit day.....

To Simpang Bedok for dinner with orang2 hutan Bedok..

They simply keep on teasing me bout my

launching off lah..

my attention lah...

over the tree lah...

stop pulley lah...

horny tetek lah...

And that keeps me laughing the whole day today with them:)

Thank you gang-gang hutan BEDOK!

I dont mind at all..:))

p/s: Zarnar, ure being so nice to me...u are so my LULU number 2..

You can do whatever you want to me..

You can say anything you want about me...

You can hate me, you can block me..

You can delete me, you can make use of me..

BUT!!!

I got nothing to lose...

You see me also like tiang...

tk kecik hati, tk sedih..

tk left out, tk pedih...

Im so tk berperasaan..

kata-katamu padaku, selama ini...

BULLSHIT semata-mata!

Awww...sasterawan...:P

So u are the angel arh, im the devil?

Trusting by choice...:)

LIFE

2009-11-23T17:28:00.000+08:00

Fuuuhhh!
I had my back to back shift yesterday...
Was at bedok for Forest Adventure in the morning,
Rush home at 3 plus and get myself ready for
Swensen for closing shift..!
And this happen on Sunday..
Call me crazy or what, to me its effing good!
Forest Adventure is doing great,
And i finally, tommorow!
I am officially a INSTRUCTOR at Forest Adventure!
I graduated from the climbing of trees up 7 metres high..
Zipping up the zip line every morning to do opening..
Climbing up the shaky ladder to do closing..!
It may sound easy, but for ladies who really fear of high elements..
you might find it life risking...

Been so self-centered this few weeks..
Working so bloody hard just to hit target that i set till end of december.
Im so gonna get myself Columbia/ Timberland shoe for work..
At least 2 harness and a few more salomon appreals.
Im so so gonna hunt for Ziv and Zarnar for discount!
Zarnar buying herself another shoe, so she's tagging me along..
Ziv gonna change all the helmet at FA, so he gonna do a check for me on my PETZL HARNESS!!
Ahhhhh...life is great!
Working with new people is simply hard..
Especially those who really damn slow
worse case cannot listen and carry out orders properly...
Im not trying to stereotype or even being complacent by my ability...
I really wonder why, these people work for...
Tkmo keje ikot selera arh...
Really pissed me off...
You should noe what are you expected at work..
and there you should jolly well do things well....

I seriously feel...kau..
PENYEMAK,
MENYEMAK,
SESEMAK,
kat facebook aku...!
I dont need anyone to validate my life at the moment..
Allow me live my life as how i want it to be...
You are just a friend...and i have the choice to listen to my friend or not...
Dont take our past for granted..!

fucker you!

2009-11-21T01:22:00.003+08:00

Had long day today in school..
Lesson was at Christ Church Secondary..
Damn slack, didnt realise i enjoy maintainance alot!
LOL! Tell me about it...:)
I bet i did well today..
SELF EVALUATION: EXECELLENT + MARVELLOUS!

Seriously, FUCKER YOU dude..!
When im nice, you trying hard to step my head hoh?
Good2...im happy you manage to do such daring move...
nah....tts not an issue..the major issue here...
CAN?
very simple....
Stop being indirect to me BECAUSE...
Ure indirectly putting words to a person who loves to be indirect..
Tell me if i cant read your mind?:))
What actually you want....?
I couldnt figure out what you trying to potray and say..
Ure one contradicting bugger noe...
Say different thing, do different thing..!
Still got the cheek wanna say about me...
Chey!!!Like the last few post i did mention about reflection..
For you i suggest, mirror also but please assure that
the mirror is big enough to show your WHOLE entire irrit fig!
Done!Im done with you fucker! FUCKER YOU!:\

Attached, tk attached...
Mane satu kau nie...?
Boleh perangai tkmo step
Krisdayanti dgn Anang bleh?

REAL

2009-11-18T01:33:00.003+08:00

"....from that short interaction I had with you I had seen how you had already given your power away even if you do not realise it, at the same time you are capable of so much compassion and I want to tell you that it's ok to be vulnerable - in fact by being unafraid to show that you are vulnerable is when you are most INVULNERABLE and most in your power. You are a very intellingent and sharp young woman and I hope you will learn that it's ok to be YOU...."

This is the usual comment i receive from alot of people..
Vulnerable and invulnerable is so my middle name...
Maybe that's the REAL me....
Invulnerable to situations that hit me hard but,
Vulnerable when i know i cant help to leave...

Being intelligent and sharp is all based on experience..
Cognitive skills play a big part on that:)
I dont wish to repeat mistakes...
This is me, the REAL me is so exclusive..
Like i say to a friend...
Accepting me is to accept me at my worse...
If you can handle me at my worse...
I bet that is the bonus you earn...

Im tired, every night i receive cock msgs!
Why blaming me for my absence??
Do you ever wonder why i move away??
ITS YOUR OWN REACTION that cause me to move..
Dont waste my time neither your time..
Cuz my time, my space is limited...
Kalau aku sombong, kenape aku masih senyom kat kau??
Kalau aku dah lain, kenape aku reply msg2 korg??
Dun judge me please..
I dont treat people like trash..
Bukan pakai buang..
Perlu carik, tak perlu to tepi..
Assure yourself what you need to prioritize..:)

LOVE??

ego

2009-11-17T00:47:00.002+08:00

Yeah!!!No worries...I know myself better...
Why?? What's wrong with ladies and EGO??
I have my own stand..So tell me who the hell are you to stop me??
HEY!!!Shooooo...you berak at my area okie!!

Simple lah...you shit on me, dont you ever think..
You can get the same me ever..
Dream on, dream on...
Yes im evil...im evil when i give my kindness enuff to you..
Saper suruh tak suke?tak suruh pon..
If ure unhappy than go away and if you dare come nearer..
U suffer...fair game?
Memang aku EGO!
Asl??? Ade hal kepe?

I wonder, how can i warm it again..
I really wonder how...
Its not anymore fragile..
Cuz i believe that, if its fragile..
It meant to be shattered and can hardly be fixed that easily..
Dah berkecai sey...!(org bodoh tulik tk phm fragile!)
NUMB!!!
Its broken arh, but the luka-luka dah heal ar..
The broken part are fixed by me arh...
But kan..its numb...!
Ive tried pouring the hottest thing over it..
Tried many things...but it doesnt look like it's working..
Hmmmm....seriously..
I just wait and see arh...

I wanna take a trip to night safari again....
One more time...:(

What now?

2009-11-14T23:19:00.005+08:00

Information passed me by is just a plain news for me to know..
Good to hear a better you...and i can see a responsible person in you..
Keep it up!:))

Off to night safari today with hidayat and his cousin and brother..
Hidayat fetch from my place and drove off to vivo..
Had our early dinner at Barcelos and night safari in the evening.
Thank you love..:)

Night Safari was great...
The walk was cool but byk animal dah buat taik mata!!
The mangrove walk(bat) was the best i bet..
I did saw Pasti!
Where else can you find her...Night Safari jugak..
I knew she would keep on reminding me..
STOP dating around...
LOL..!as usual...
She knows me too well...
I smile..and i hug my dearest soul gf tightly just now..
How i miss her...hell!Only god knows!

What now??
Once bitten twice shy...
But ive been bitten twice and
the third time cannot play2 oready wai...:(

Issit wrong for me to hold back my love to anyone??
Im waiting for the day...
The day...
Just for one man, who...
Could hold me tight and never wanna let me go...
Love and guide me through along the love journey..
Going through the hardship together..
And hopingly...
He is a one mature man who know his responsibilities...
I know some are out there..but im not ready for you...
Maybe there are things that dont make you fit in for the man im looking for..
Im sorry once again...:(

Good looking, nice bods...
Driving, riding...
Money, styling...
Is my secondary priority...
Its not important at all for me...
The only main primary priority is..
Can you handle me?

I wonder, who are you..
I feet like ive been in that situation before..
The comfort and the touch..
Its like dejavu....

glad!

2009-11-11T14:52:00.002+08:00

Receive a call from dearest gf, LULU...
She wanted to meet up today after wati's class today..
But!!!For bloody shittoz!Im having UT and
i have to work at 6 till closing..:((
Sayang2...im sorry my dearest girlfriends....
i will make up soon k....making sure it happens before lulu
starts her orientation...:)

Congrats cinta..:))
Glad to here that you got your next job!!
i do hope you enjoy your job orientation,
do hope to see you at same outlet maybe...:))
I will try to go for the interview then we will see how it goes..:P
But-but-but!
The issue is that....
Sir azlan'chau spoke to me bout my..
working ettiquette..
He did talk to me personally about promoting and all...
I was speechless when he randomly came up to me
with his firm tone and discuss about this promotion thingy with me..
I really thank him for bringing up his observation on me to Sir Frankie J.
Thank you orang tua!(dia dah tua tapi blom kahwin, Bujang Speeding)
So i shall keep up my plans at work for 3 months and i shall see
what are they offering me...:))
SEE FIRST ARH...!!
Another thing..tht bothers me alot right now is...
the bond between the JRP crew and me is growing..
more like a family and i dun wish to let it go...
Other wishes!!:
I do hope dinnie wont quit...(i know its tiring uztad!but ure the best fountain boy lah!...)
I do hope etiqah transfer to JRP...(ur mouth entertain me alot)
I do hope i can be paid so much more what STARBUCKS gives me!!(dream on!)
I do hope i can work better each day and able to tolerate brain jam breal feedback from managers..(no embrace diversity one..you can tolerate not?)
Can i have this 4 above wishes come true??
That's all i want for now...please..?

Lets smile and smile and smile and smile...
Cuz smile will bring the world closer to you..
No matter what happen, smile...
cuz it will make your life worth living...:))

Helmet ke Bangku?

2009-11-10T11:56:00.002+08:00

Dah berani....nak hate tag....
Dah kuat girl??
Lau dah kuat jumper aku...
Face me bebey...:))

Kau buat pilihan...
Helmet hitam yang aku buat hetam kepala mak janda tgl kat YEW TEE ker..
Kau nak bangku kat kedai kopi??
Satu, aku kasi ingat..
Lau kau berani sgt, kau jumper aku kiter settle one by one...
Nk tunjuk protest kan?
I,tk de pasal love...
Lau nk ajak ramai2 pon boleh..
Tapi tolong take note ini..
Kalau aku mati, kau tgk berape ramai carik mak bapak kau..

Ey budak mentah..
Dah mentah nk step dah masak pulak..
Aku diam2, kau nk try pijak kepala aku pulak..
Kau ingat nie ehk..lau kau rase aku nie jenis pompuan kau bleh cat-dog fight..
Sorrry wai..!
Nie betina jahanam tkde cat-dog fight girl...
Aku punya, mati tanam hidop2 nyer fight..
Siak arh....perangai kanina sak..!
Dont think you can run away..
Bengap bodoh..!
Sia2 sak aku budak IT..
Kau membuat pilihan yang salah...
Jangan sampai kau jadi pape kedana sak aku uat...!
Sekolah tinggi-tinggi..bodoh bertingkat-tingkat..
pegi skolah tapi perangai...mcm nauzubillah himizaliq!

PLEASE GROW UP!!
GO FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO..
HELP UR MUM DO HOUSE CHORES
OR PLUCK UR DADS UP ARMPIT FOR GOODNESS SAKE
RATHER THAN YOU HATE TAG ME..!
SHHOOOO......MCM SEMAK ARH KAU..!

Over and Out!

2009-11-07T03:14:00.003+08:00

As usuals...2 am is 2pm right now for me...should have stayed abit longer with the crew for another breather and gossip bout abg body!!Damn!But yeah...i need to drag this tired feet home for a massage...!

Ive yet to decide whether should i be working closing tommorow...
arggghhh....no,no,no!
well...i think i should...or maybe i decide later after i woke up from my sleep..:)
While having my supper just now, something strike my mind..
Two person and two things...
Wati and Nurul...
Holland Village and Kopi Gangsters...
Damn!I miss those times..seriously..i do...
When we did our reflection and feedback during the breather session..
The new crew reminds me of the past back at HV...:((
I nearly teared but i hold it back...
So the......
kekasih yang dulu hilang..kini dia telah kembali pulang..!:))
Thank you dudes and dudettes...
Appreciate every help from every station i was deployed all this while..
And i swear..table servicing is so much fun!
PLUS!!Carryin' the large round tray its really heavy and dangerous..
I almost cant bend my whole wrist again!chiiit!!!
Pain TAU!!!But im cool sotong...!:P

Finally, everything is OVER between me and holland village partners..
Im OUT for all i care from that hell!!
Take care girls and boys...
Layanlah jantan keparat tk tkde tulang belakang tu...
hahahaha!

Jalan kayu in the morning tomorrow for breakfast..
Shoppin' in the afternoon..
And dinner at night....
So tell people...
Do u think im happy or miserable?
LOL!!
HAPPY GILER LAH SIA!!!
So im all over with everything...
Hopefully...
This is a good paid off,
After so long.....:))

For now let me do my prioritize list:
- Myself!!
- Family!!
- MONEY!!MONEY!!!MONEY!!!
- Girlfriends, friends!!!
- Goody gooodddsss...!!!
- Man!
shall update in 3 months time

Win,lose and draw

2009-11-04T17:02:00.003+08:00

I dont see the need of you being intimidated by every blog post tt i post nw and then...
If u happen to read and u think its you den its gd!

Why siti...?is it hard to be straight forward?
My ans:
My sluar dlm arh..
My mouth nt yours wat?
My blog nt yours kan??
Not happy, burn ur laptop ar bongok!
No suka, flood ur fb status lor...
The best suggestion frm me,
GOSSIP LAH! Easy right..
Sumpah i tk kisah...im synical bout it..
:))

Maybe you think sarcasm works on others
But....HELL NO TO ME SAYANG..!
You can try bt i will get my way to you...
Worse come to worse..
I come to you and stand in front of you and smile...:)

Win,lose or draw is part of every game..
We cn have the same strategy when playing the game with me but!!
You cn never know my strategy will change..so be mindful even before you think you are at the winning side!
Cuz behind those smile tt i gv..
Lies a million plans!!

2 more to be ditch!
6 idiots will be under ur spell...
So what makes you think that the rest of the remaining ones cn make it happen?
Those who are still around cant even make it happen..haiyo...*shake head*
Work hard ar...

Sad to hear, the jamaican monkeys slowly extinct,dead and gone..
Pity the zookeeper..not much attraction nw in the zoo..
Dear zookeeper,
Ure nt capable to handle rare breeds..u only capable of handling local breeds...
So gd luck to ur new breeds and again LOCALS!

Welcoming myself to a whole new world..
I didnt regret a inch!!
Im off frm my comfort zone,
And here i am at my growing zone!
Chey! So the adventure education..:)

Fatin other climbers that mean happiness to me,
Sesungguhnye,i miss climbing..but im finding the good time to come training..im trying to stabalize myself with my 2 new job nw and then..adding ons,im on a very tight schedule..and when i know i have the opportunity to come 4 climb i didnt turn up,its all becuz i decided to go home straight and have adequate rest 4 the next day..i dont want to make myself extra tired when im already shagged..im sorry,ill try to find the time as i really miss the craps and the jokes...see u guys soon..looking forward 4 someting too..*winks*

P/S
Lupe byr bill,ker takot bini marah??
Sorrylah syg bini..bini,bini jugak..
Barang jgn luper jatoh..
Nk simpan sampai tumbuh pokok ker?
Bini understanding tkkan marah...
Dia lek jer..lek kuey...:)
Jangan marah yer...

Ini kenyataan,bukan reka-rekaan...

my way

2009-10-26T23:48:00.005+08:00

So be it...what ever i have to say is all what i see..
Dont come to someone else start asking about it..
The next thing you just wanna shut it off that easily..?
looks who's angry..?
And i know why ure reacting this way,
if you're worried your friends were to go away from you,
my pretty advice better stop behaving this way..

Well, look here..
I know there are people out there are talking behind my back..
But look at urself first...
You point one finger at my bloody face but 3 fingers are pointing back at ur fugly idiotic moron face! Stop acting..PLEASE!!!
REFLECTION DOES HELP PEOPLE!
The mirror is a good source to start of with..:)

A friend makes my day end swee2 today,he said:
"Sedang laki,bini cerai berai bleh miss...takkan members tk leh miss kan?"
Btol jugak ckp kamu...But the fact is...
Friends like you hard to find lor...You are somewhere but still acknowledge..:)
Keep up the good work yo!

Pelik tapi benar..
Aku dah bual tk nk lyn, nanti tk bual assume merepek meraban!
ape yg kau nk, ape yg kau imbangkan...
You are simply not good enough to decide wats good and wrong..
I effing can see it in you..
Get lost from my way, please......:\

I miss Mr Sociology:)
I miss Biskot:))
I miss partying like a rockstar:((
I miss making kopi:((

Lost world!

2009-10-25T20:53:00.003+08:00

Org buat baik salah, tak buat baik salah...
Den what you want?Everybody have to listen to you all the time?
Memang arh, terpulang pada org nk dgr tk nk dgr...
But please arh, u start to brag about it..and it is so annoying..
Sorry arh yg semua org dgr ckp kau..:\
I pretty feel, you should sit one corner mkn rambutan pon swee arh..make me angry:(
You think im scared of you?Not happy call 999 arh!Monyet kau!
Look here...can you just stop behaving like this..??
Could you??

You want to be known, you want to be notice..
But look at yourself, do you think u have what it takes?
Stop dreaming being someone..
Dreaming is achievable if you work hard for it...
Else dream will stay as dream..
Ploop!its gone...

Reflection helps..:)

Next please....:)

2009-10-22T22:27:00.005+08:00

Sometimes life is so bitchy...
But never-the-less..i enjoy every bit of my life..
Nothing in Impossible..:)
If you are mean to be gone, then sayonara lor...
Nothing to lose as another is waiting...
My last but not least words..
Take care arh...
Next please..:)

Did my interview today down at Forest Adventure..
And im surprise, ill be under training next week and then on attachment!
Alhamdulilah...:)
Having a better pay and much more i can have another part time job with no problems..
Thanks Ziv!:)
Hard to com across to have a gerek team manager..
I dont feel pressure during the interview in fact it was a lepak one!
Im looking forward to join another family...:)
Hmm...im looking forward to work with Fish and Co..
Shud i give a shot?
I think it shud be a good and new environment to experience..:)
Anyway, anyone who read this post jangan lah luper kaypo2 spread the news..
(Who eat chilli, you feel hot2 arh..)

I think ive become the upmost hottest topic right now..
Donta cha think so girls?Hahahaha!
Whats wrong with you people??
Do ya need another part time job for the moment..?
Starbucks didnt pay you effing enough issit?
Pity...!
Better get urself another better job specs!
Jadi makcik jual epok2 tepi jalan ker..
Atau nyonya seniwati jalanan(yang nyanyi2 kat mrt)...

My most concern now is, i wanna MEET!
Syawaiiiiii!
Lulu!!!!
Wati!!!!
Deebz!!!
The climberz!(Aidi,Aidil,Fatin,Syahmi,Zai,Suk ,Khairah,Fiqah and Shaid!)
Please, tolong, cho ming ah! I wanna spend good time with this people above..:(

I wonder where it all stop,why it fades and who wanted to be this way..
Ahhh...nvmdlah...if it have to be this way then be it...
Tapi macam heran arh..dulu kenal, skrg buat2 tk kenal...
Issit wrong, if you know me you stop by and say hai like we use to be??
Heran arh...perangai stop it dow...:P
Weird,weird,weird,weird...!

if i were to choose you and you and you and you...
neither is my choice...:))
Im not ready yet...

DEAD!

2009-10-20T10:43:00.003+08:00

Im sorry for my decision...i didnt wanna end it this way..
I know its hard for you buddies to accept it but i have no other choice..
I try hard enough to save my territory but i failed..
Its being invaded still!Damn!
Sorry buddies...
That place is DEAD..
Dead when the fun is over years back den..:)

WORK = BITCH = STEP GEREK!

Celebrated deebs birthday...
Its supossed to be a istana park surprse end we made it to Sakura suprise!
Hope you like it babe!
Surprise tak?? hahaha!
Thanks to all that help to make it to a successful one...!

Once again...
Happy 22nd birthday
Adibah!
May all your wishes come true and be a filial daugter to ur parents!
Stay cheeky and witty always!
From bimbo sister!

True friend stays, bitches friend fuck off:)

another trust?

2009-10-14T22:56:00.002+08:00

Should i even give myself another chance to trust again?

Apparently, the answer is HELL NO BITCH!...

My definition of trust is not focusing only to one specific meaning..

It is wide and in fact people would be surprise if i were to share..

So let it be...

My minds made up by the way that i feel...:))

I love games..

You asked me to play this game,

I take the challenge,

And now what?

I think you better stay rooted to your seat

And get this game done,

Once for all...

Forgive and forget sounds nice..
But to me...
No forgive and no forget...
That sounds even nicer...
If you cant accept at my worse behaviour,
You wont\dont even get to smell\deserve my kindnes..
Fuck off!
Get ur feet back to the ground..
Stop dream big, if you cant afford..:)

Come on singles...!
Lets rawk our life out!

Face down in the dirt she said,
this doesn't hurt she said I finally hurt enough.

Dont Speak!

2009-10-12T22:21:00.003+08:00

Its already the 2nd week of school..
And im pretty much sure,
im all HAPPY this semester...:))
Only HE knows my heart best!
School...
as usual...ive come to realise,
i am so lazy to even walk over to kedai kopz!
not because of ANYONE..(being straight forward here),
its just that my bumps is getting heavier
and my legs are getting lazier
to cross over the bridge just for a breather..:(
Been recce'ing much interesting places for
some fresh air now..!LOL!:))

Ive been downloading lots of song currently,
And dont speak becomes one of my
favourite song now and then...
Especially this verse..:))
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together
always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know...
(dedicated to anyone, in general)

Sometimes, things happen in life for reason..
and i always give chances to anyone...
Im not being baised...
Im not being two face..
I play the safest game..
And i play with people's game well..
Hey you...!
Im up for every game..
If you think im scared to lose and to face failure..
You really got a damn god wrong bitch,dude..:))
Just bring it on!

Hahahaha!!!
What's love...??
I have bloody hell no idea peepz...
I dont wish to tell, i dont wish to share,
For now..
No one in common,
no one can own this heart..
Cuz love is not anymore important..
So lets all be friends....yeay!:))

Body and mind

2009-10-08T23:59:00.003+08:00

If you think you are alone, my bet..

You're not...because me and the rest will always be there for you..

And i know how it feels to be trash like a piece of shit and

you dont expect to see things which you dont wanna see or even hear..

Well, my pretty advice is...

Just face this kind of people and allow yourself to breathe..

After so long you hold things down, giving the best you could..

This is the best time you treaseure your broken heart...

I believe that, no one could help you to move on..

Its YOU, YOURSELF...

Trust me...

Friends will be there, but they themselves have their own things to think off..

BE DEPENDENT on yourself...making effort from your own decisions...

the rest of the things, let time take the lead..

If you think ure not strong, think again...

Let your body take over your mind...

there more things you got to achieve rather than holding on to this minority of people who cross your line and short circuit it..

I know its tough..but what to do...you should be prepared for the after effect of breaking up..

Or being ignore by people around you..

PARTY and WORK and HAPPY PILLS do helps alot...

And lastly..this work pretty much..

If things got worsen..until ure not even being treated as a friend..

try this at home, at public and anyway...

SMILE AND KEEP OUR COOL:))

Dun feel good dont you..?

Like it when i react that way??

I bet u dont right...?

Sorry, i have my reason to do so...

Shocked to hear that kind of question from your dada...

I cant say much anymore..

I rest my case...:)

Get well really soon Uncle Taib..

I will chit chat with you again when ure confirm okie!

Nice to see you laugh and smile just now in ur hard bed and ur drip...

Its hurtful to see you in such condition...

I know its painful and such..

And here i am,

praying for your recovery...

with hope you gonna be well soon...

Insyallah...

Had a good laughing time today with the ROCK geng...biase jugak..tkde ketawa tkde kegembiraan..:))Sorry gangs, i cant join for the marvellous dinner you guys had at Seoul Garden today, due to CGH visiting trip..so yar...

Anyway...Its my dearest vice president birthday today...

Syahmi Azmi!

Selamat hari jadi yah...

Moga dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki...

Hope, whateva you wish this time..

HE will fufill it for you..

A year older, a year wiser...

Amin...

Preventing is too late..

Stopping wont help either..

Sorry

2009-10-07T14:53:00.004+08:00

A man not with his words...
You can be the most nicest guy on earth to people's eye..
But not me...
You can blind others from your words..
But not me...
And im stating the fact here...
You make me think otherwise...
When i saw you..
I will generously gives you my smile..
So long friend...
Take Care....

A straight forward man..
Be it hard or easy, i will go through this...
I dont wanna hold things so much cuz i dont wanna fall hard..
Im not the only one, and i know there are others...
And i encourage you to exploit more...
Ill take one step back and
Let time tells how issit gonna be like...
I wouldnt wanna play with fire anymore..
And im strong enough to even to put a stop to everything...
:)

I bet..my heart is still shut....
Dont know why, maybe experience that lead me this way..
Sorry..im so sorry...
Im fickle but i think i shud think about myself first before others..
Crying is not anymore my game..
Mean is my middle name..

Igonoring doesnt mean i dont acknowledge..

More than 3

2009-10-05T09:33:00.004+08:00

Hari raya with the climbers...thank you so much guys for the great day and in fact with KTM as my companion..everything is fine...I couldnt care-a-less bout budak itu, as i think u really dun deserve any mercy...Look upon urself and ask..are u behaving like a mature one?or are you just being urself when you know you urself should change..I dare to say this here, not because of KTM, in fact me and KTM are friends...closefriends...I wont make any comparison as u should learn how to mirror yourself and look at yourself deeper..Thank you to people like AIDI,ZAINI,SUKASHI,AIDIL,FATIN,KHAIRAH, FIQAH and SHAID who make me feel better after all those stupid commotion..I wonder, when will things be handled professionally?

Did my tanning last week of holiday...and here i go back to my old me...doing my old things again and lead life like a feather...Lets go with the flow...im not going to ask for much cuz im being as happy as i can facing my life...see...Im still smilling core shittt....:)If ure pretty unsure if the person ure depending on is still around to care, then my advice is...learn how to depend on urself first...standing on your own two feet and i bet u gonna be fine...Depending on others only shows how weak are you living in this world...fight against all odds and be strong to give a better living for urself... There is always someone better ahead...all it takes is patience....:)

Well2....lets see how far can we go....

I dun wish to rush cuz, this journey is too sweet to end it with an item...

Hahaha...u always complete my night with your concern...

Appreaciating small little things which i dun see...

Ill be there, to wipe ur tears, and ur motivator to prove ure strong...:)

Gawd!Susah dtg arh nie anak....

And as for to 2 dearest people i treasure most...

Aidiruddin and Fatin Amir

Selamat Hari Jadi pada kamu yah...

Semoga Umur di panjangkan...

Rezeki berlimpahan dan

Bahagia di samping org kau org syg...

Senyom2 selalu...:))

Ure just more than 3 words....

Making me feel back alive that ive always wanted....

Jumbo house with boulder gym?

:))

Begin

2009-09-29T22:03:00.003+08:00

Why can't we just, just be like this
Cause it's you and nothing else until the end
Who else can ever make me feel the way I
I feel when I'm with you, no one will ever do....

Sometimes..its funny to realise to know how this all begin..

And yet, its wonderful to treasure...
If i could have another minute with you..
We'll go somewhere only we know....

Itu kamu....

A perfect oatmeal with honey...

Brightens up my morning...:)

Green tea frap add javachip

Soothes my night...

Reveal:)

2009-09-28T23:12:00.007+08:00

Ive come to realise its already 6 months today...:)

Annnnddd....

I believe from my slow move i will get the chance to see the truth...

Sounds thrilling right...?huahuahua!

Hmmm...

Its not hard to reveal things cuz i have my ways to reveal things...

Why do i took so long..?

Maybe you shud ask this heart...

People might ask...

Dimana Janjimu Yang Dulu...?

Nie part i tk nk jawab...i malas...

Im tired of knocking the door...but still no answer...

The only note i receive is..all in the drain...

If i see budak itu...tak lagi kerana sayang..cuma kadang kala aku terkenang...Nothing concern me anymore...
If you couldnt be bother..

then ure not my concern..

Firstly, not because of someone else..

Its just YOU that i tawar hati....

From the day u didnt bother to see my effort..

and now this heart is numb to hear ample of "down the drain"
If you think im lying..evidence are saved to prove...

Its not im letting go so easily in fact it took me almost half a year to stabilise myself...

Maybe seeing me right now like very happy kan..

In fact im drowned with tears almost everynight...

And thank god having a close friend actually helps alot...

Dun YOU dare think otherwise about me!!

One day..

Budak itu and me will have to face anything that come across in front of our eyes..

im prepared..its NOT because of someone else! its because im prepared months after the break up..so yar..ive made things clear here..

Maybe..its hard to see you go through this problems on your own...

But its all fated by HIM that we have to face challenges in life..

I believe, ure ready and mature enough to face life...

Be strong and put on your smile...

Cuz tt will solve your troubles away...

You cant hide from me cuz u have poured everything...

and you know...i will be here to support you...

Terima Kasih atas ke ikhlasan yang kau berikan...

Yang patah tumbuh...

Yang hilang berganti....

Kau yang punya....

2009-09-26T22:21:00.006+08:00

My days have never been better..

The dull morning is now much more brighter..

And the sleepless night is now over with cheeky laughter..

Walking down the beautiful days without any fears...

Staying strong and shall let the time lead our future...

Im unsure if this true..

But if its..i thank You...

HE must be really love me,

To bring me to you...

Its is so beutiful to let it go,

i believe,lets go with the flow...

Jangan kau bimbang sayang,di mana ku berada,
dengan siapa ku bersama,jangan bimbangku tetap
kau yang punya:))

Not yet..

2009-09-22T01:54:00.008+08:00

I did try dont you see...?Not once, not twice even hari raya...but ingoring is the game..well...heartless...Is it me or is it you? Thought you are gone with the wind but then you got work out for the wrong reason just because of a post..*lost!*

Dearest Bestfriend:) said this just now,

"The weakest thing about you is that you always think about others and you really dont wanna hurt anyone's heart purposely or even with intention especially comes to love and friends..."

"The strongest thing about you is, you're strong in heart and dominant with decisions."

Well, i do agree as this bestfriend of mine who wont dare to lie to me else you will be in trouble dear...:)hahaha!

Simply said...patience is virtue and it will be rewarded with wonderful things..Its not hard to smile when ure hurt cuz we can never noe, there's someone is sincere enough to smile and laugh with us...never judge time...let it take the lead..:)

6 months past and im still taking things damn cool...Concern if im already looking for someone in common with me right now..Nah....not yet..!CRAPZ! Im prioritizing things which is much important right now..Considering what I NEED and what i WANT...Two different words but hard to understand it...:)) Even if there is someone else, shall take things slow or might not even trust!Dont see a need to rush..dun have to take advantage of time, duration of waiting/beingl single as a reason to fall easily again...

Opportunity come knocking ample of times, when time is up, it will stop knocking..

Its hard to believe..
That this could happen to me...
What's next?
:)

One step!

2009-09-21T00:31:00.007+08:00

Its hari raya today..and i had a great day with my family...How touching can my family be this afternoon during the seeking for forgiveness session, the background music sound so like we are in drama melayu...e.g background sound, Dari jauh kumohon ampun maaf by Allayarham Sudirman Haji Arshad..God you can imagine the atmosphere at the sofa area today like drama lah sia!..Especially mak datin..(my motherrr)!Did a few visitings...and yar..i got back home at 1030pm just now!damn!

Dari itu...Saya, Siti Khamisah Jamail..Memohon ampun dan maaf atas segala kesalahan dan kesilapan yang telah saya lakukan sengaja ataupun tidak terhadap, sahabat handai mane yang akrab dgn saya atau pon tidak, terhadap bekas2 kekasih mahu pun bakal2 kekasih baru saya..ehemm! Maaf kan lah daku diatas segala tutur bahasa ku, silap kataku kerana di bulan yang mulia ini marilah kita membersihkan diri kita dari silap dgn memohon maaf sesama insan, kerana tiada sesiapa pon yang sempurna di dunia yang fana ini...Halalkan makan dan minum saya dan juga lepas nie JOM RAMAI2 gy joli lagi, gaduh disambungkan, buang muka mcm semalam, tk nk bebual mcm biase,mengumpat bertimbun2 dan benda2 yang kiter put a pause sementara Syawal yg mulia ini..BTOL TK SEMUA??hahaha!(saper2 yang nk mintak maaf tu biar ikhlas...yer?)

Beautiful rays in the morning.

Sparkling stars in the night...

One step at a time,

there's no need to rush

to see another morning and
to feel another night...

Fool Stop!

2009-09-18T17:43:00.003+08:00

Oooolalalaa.....Alas im having my long break from work starting from today onwards till Tues..Im almost done with raya preparation in fact im 3/4 ready for raya...:) Ketupat and lepat already fixed and ready to be boil tonight...hmmm...i bet this year raya might have a lot of differences compared to past years...Im 22 years old this year...still remember those goo o times when my sister was around..the preparation during my younger days was fun..hahaha!but now...good comes to an end..and now i have my irritating niece now to take over my place..<3 align="left">

I bet you would have read my post..and im ready for your game...Ure such a FOOL to delete of that post and you dare enough to re post it some kind like an angel send by god...Goodddneess!tooolooongg lahh..kau ingat aku bodoh per?If you think you can hide things well, i can even dig things really well too....watch what you doing girl...And lastly, i shall say this here and get yourself ready, cuz im gonna put a STOP and make you understand what nonsense ure thinking and ranting in ur blog!

Good friends?nah...friends is good enough..dun cum push me and end up im the miserable..

Stress with all craps...and i putting lots of effort to be better each day...

If it is good for me...ill shall wait till i dont know when...:)

Im yours...so please dont complicate...
Our time is short..this our fate..im yours.....<3

Slappucino!

2009-09-16T20:35:00.004+08:00

My morning was great today...with my beloved wati as my opening partner..i tell you..sumer gerek.....:))As usual..we meet up at bouna vista mrt den we proceed to store...laugh and sharing things...I realise that me and wati will never stop talking each time we met. Eversince last time...from commonwealth to Payah lebar..a great friend to walk with...Lulu did cosing as usual..pity u syg...but nvmd...me and wati will bring that smile back real soon...:D Went back to wati's place today to have my pit stop and we had a good conversation this evening...No worries baby...im always here for you...and will always be like before...:))

To who ever yang terasa...

Hmmmm....i wonder how old are you...still behaving like a 16 years old kiddo who talk using mouth not brains...well..let me tell you this...what makes you think you're so mean??HAHAHA!Lu buat gua kekek lah minah...!Just dont make me do things that you will regret from what you have said about me...:) You are just a freaking minor to me...including your good gossip friend...get it? I think ive save your very good friend away from you from all your drama...dont tust me...ask her yourself..see what would she say...:D Hey buddy....look at urself....dont make me drag ur bloody face in front of the big mirror in the store...and you know i wont hesitate to do so? wanna try some nice slappucino?im ready to serve you:)) Btw SUKERRR hati org lah die nak kawan dgn saper pon...dgn binatang ker, dgn beruang terkutuk mcm kau ker atau monyet tk cukup mkn ker...That's all up to individuals..who the fuck are you to assume and judge huh???skola mane kau nie dulu??skola sampah sarap per? I didnt expect you to be this way arh girl...!Fuck! You used to be the girl that i tear with when i broke up! nevr once i think negatively about you..But now you are the one bitching about me!! WOW!!! Marvelous! And i thought ure a great one that i never even thought you would ever have this bitch attitude..

LET ME SAY THIS DIRECTLY TO YOU....ITS ALL UP TO YOUR GOOD FRIEND TO WHOM SHE WANTS TO BE FRIEND WITH...YOUR GOOD FRIEND OF YOURS HAVE A HER OWN THING TO DO AND SHE NEEDS SPACE OF HER OWN...!GETT ITTT BITCH!! LASTLY, I DONT FORCE PEOPLE TO BE FRIEND TO ME...AKU TAKDE MASA NAK RAMPAS MEMBERS!!KIMAK KAU FIKIR NIE ZAMAN PRIMARY SCHOOL PER!! STUPID PLUS CHILDISH!! LAU NAK BEHAVE NIE MCM AKU NASIHAT KAU TOLONG UBAH PERANGAI SBLOM BEBUAL DGN AKU!

Before i end this!let me remind you ....ive been in the line for 4 years...ive taste the shit much more than you do...stop judging will you..??u are fucking lucky i dont treat you like fucking dog at work, i dont fucking shame you at work from all the things you have done...you sure you wanna play this game?im ready babe....just to remind you this bugger! If you wanna kill me,make sure im dead, but if i can still stand up and run...you better be ready to face the shit you give me..get it?!! You bloody fucking hell not happy confront me arh, lau aku uat salah aku mintak maaf, and i will make sure i say things which are true not cover up stories and i will never run away from problems..!Tolong bilang kawan baik kau....mulut dier jgn smpi milk pitcher smpi pat mulut dier...dah sombeng dah tk laku, jgn salah kan aku ehkk....better watch ur bloody mouth before you even wanna speak! Btw my problem arh i want to stay in the line for how long....i wonder...i stay with this job for a consistent of 4 years but you? how many jobs you change??sadarlah manusia....perangai cibai tu tolong buang ehk!!bual jgn ikot sedap mulut! Lagi satu hidop lau nak bodek2...bley belah arh k? Remember this..you dont know who are you playing fire with bitch...you just got the wrong bitch to bitch with!Taking care arh ehk....:)) For

Anyone out there who wants to think bad about me go ahead..like or dun like this is me..im saying things which are right...its not only for myself..its for others too..its all up to individuals...:)

This is only the begining of my return..more to come...so better watch out!

Dont act2 nice in front of me ehk...dont think i smile2 i dont care arh...

You thought the battlefield is over in fact its not..it just started...

:))

friend and foe

2009-09-15T21:05:00.005+08:00

Seri was looking for me high and low just for Kabir's birthday tommorow...I do hope whatever i have told you to do, will work yow!not too worry...its not hard to talk to these guys cuz i know them way to well...they are mature enough to stop and think before execute...

Met LULU this afternnon at work and here we go again...:)) Thank you syg for being a great lovely friend...NO TTM...i punye KTM<3..LOL! And fridayyy we will have a mini iftar at store with Syawai the BG, watipu cinta dan lulu buah hati ku....soooo....what shall i bring for these budak2 gemok....*korek hidong* I have to work opening shift tommorow, followed by birthday surprise to kabir down town after work,that's love!<3

This smile will stay even if anything pulls me down..cuz with great people around me, i wont fear failure...Running away from things only proving to people you're a failure...I will still stand tall for every single thing im doing now..be it right or wrong...:)) Stop running..face reality..<3

Audrealita Siti = The single one, a happy one and always got problem one!:)
I have more than just a pair of eyes and ears..
You will never know what can my move and smile means...
Cuz im unpredictable..:))

Being too sweet only harms this heart..

Double 2 Done!

2009-09-14T00:34:00.005+08:00

Well,well,well...what can i say....we are done with the iftar with the Climb.Republic and also my bdae celebration...:) Love you guys...Had a great night afterall on 10 September..nice one...Fatin..the next thing will be Climb.republic hari raya outing...i got my transport ready for the crews to pimp the transport!lol!!

The eve of my bdae wasnt a good one in fact a ridiculous and hurtful one! Damn you!!!Why do you have to get me fucking wrong sia!!! arggghhhh!!!Im sssooo tired and confused!!Different in words, different in actions and different in results..*garok kepala*

Like OMG!!!My dry food cabinet now is full of cookies and crackers for raya..!Mother Yankee is all prepared for raya war over at my cribz..I bet this year my house will go haywire with my friends...kecohhhh!!!my mum will like,"mairah, byk nyer...??" I'll invited everyone for the openhouse and makanlah korg ketupat dan lauk pauk!

Double 2 now..thank god..im still breathing and i can still live my days...
Its gonna be tough,but i will still face all this crap,bullshit things..
I wonder...why people choose to behave this way when they can just be neutral...
They choose to be like this and at the end of the day they confuse themselves...
Im a simple person who doesnt need to be please or need to be please or want to be please
Cuz i know sometimes is not easy to please people..
If ure willing to be my friend i hope ure sincere...tts all i need:))

Im all happy by myself...with my two best girlfriends around...im sure im gonna be fine....
Cant wait for Fridaaaayyyyy....geylang....here we cum bitch!
I so wana bring Lulu out...she is no much in troubles now..(sygku...be strong...<3) style="font-style: italic;font-size:78%;" >

If only you dont misunderstood things...:(

Iftar season

2009-09-08T03:29:00.005+08:00

You and i both love...<3Bitch Sisters!
Thank you beautiful girls...:)
Iftar season is already so at peak now...and Arab st is not anymore the favourite spot for the mat and minah, the cool and screws, the fashion and selekehs to lepak..It was barely empty today when i had my iftar with my islamiah gangs..(lol!) Sesungguh nyer niat aku esok tk berpuase kerana aku lah setannyer...:)) Had a great night today with all my dearest gfs...:) Thank you wati and deebz for the advance bdae gift..its beautiful honeys..<3> And today..my mata got gula2 arh...aiyoy!Its gonna be the same..hell yeah! Thanks for asking and my answer will be the same like the past years...Its gonna be simple and the digit increase..:(

Why those tears?

I didnt do anything to let those tears out..

Its getting hard to breathe here...

Take me out!!!!

2 more day...goodbye 21...

bitter heart

2009-09-04T03:41:00.003+08:00

A goodfriend once said this to me...
"Darling...you dont need a guy to validate your life...."

I do agree but not all...yeah...this stubborn bitch just wouldnt wanna listen..but...i guess its quite true...im all free now...smiling to every single thing im doing...yeah..my pick up abit slow after all the sickening things happen in life...im living my life with lots of memories and i kinda enjoy embracing every single memories...hahaha...sweet and i can never forget....:))For now let me spend sometime of my own...im sooo tired to even to start from scratch again...so i think time will tell...for all i know, i dont have a time for a man now...just need my space...i couldnt be bothered...hansem ker, budak ker, bapak org ker, abg2 ker,kaye ker, bdn maut ker....sumpah aku mls nk lyn...

Arh...yes!left with 2 months and my bill installment is over...im freeeeee....!and this is the best part...putting lotsa lotsa of shifts and earn that hard pettyy cash!And i will go....weeeeeee.....i swear..i wanted to do this for a very long time..from Farhan's case to Firdaus's case...god! Well..i think i will achieve this goal first...and ooh yahh! Savings...

Raya this year, will absolutely goonaa have much difference...without my sister around at home for cakes and cookies baking...left with me and my sister-in-law...:(( So i goootttaaa be extra strong....double hard stuff i got to juggllleee!! Bikin kuih raya at home and jadi hantu raya at work! Damn!

oh my bitter heart...you're the only knows how it feels right now... im smilling through cuz i dont wanna get hurt nimore...so lets live it up!

Im truly so sorry...
Ive disappoint you,
And if it is hurt i apologise,
Cuz i myself aint perfect either..
Time will tell...

6 more days...goodbye 21....

letrum~letrum!

2009-08-30T01:33:00.004+08:00

A brilliant week of closing shifts and climbing and a splendid saturday night with two beloved people...thank you:)

I always believe that, everyone has every right to be friend to anyone..so why shud we stop the person from being friend to another person whom she/he comfortable with?dont you think its childish...In fact i encourage people to be friends/make more friends..why addin more digits to the number of enemy in ur life?dont you think ure stewwpit?SO WHATEVALAH GANG! Dont come judge me, cuz you know why...?i dont influence people,its all up to people to decide..okie?fair?

Apart from this...
Ive come to realise people are making use of my kindness and smile as my weakness..The more you make use of me, the more i learn about you,your weakness,your strength and so are you prepared to be kill? Better spread your wings and fly hard before i shoot you down..:)A friend once said...."you always have means and ways to get what you want.."YES! i do!but you wont know what im trying to do..so wait up till ur turn comes..

And its nice seeing people falling in love..sweetnesssss....
So here i sing letrum~letrum~letrum~letrum oh lalala...

Thanks arh di:( (Old from the outside, young in the inside!)

Ohhh soooo nono!

So lets jut focus on one thing at a time Siti..
Cuz my mind is fix and nothing can stop me from my decision...

*u hurt me again..:(*

12 more days...goodbye 21...

2009-08-28T03:52:00.009+08:00

Make it simple and sweet today....

IF YOU DONT LIKE ME,
DEN GET THAT UGLY ASS FROM MY SIGHT!
TAK SUKER DEN APE LAGI?GY BERAMBOS ARH.....:))

I can make you happy, if you want me to,
I can make you laugh , if you want me to..
Hear your problems and i can be your shoulder to cry on too.. Cuz im just a friend..and dont ask for more..:)

As i mention this to dearest nurul..
I just need time of my own and be happy with the things im doing now...
But i do miss certain things alot but i will let it be in my heart..forever...
Cuz i just couldnt erased it...

Happy Birthday to Syafiqah..
Be a good girl and make sure enjoy ur life while you can k..?Dont be naughty2!
A year older, a year wiser..

And soon its my turn....

12 more days..Goodbye 21...

When the time comes...

2009-08-27T02:23:00.002+08:00

Its been awhile, yet this heart doesnt seems to change...i simply cant find the reason or any solution to this one heart why issit like this...

The rain simply remind me of the memories..
It all started from drizzling and heavy rain pours...
This little things will stay close in my mind...

Only you know why is this heart still shuts...
And this tears will never dry...
Each time the memories come by..
Its hard, but i putting up with it....
And when the time comes,
I just want you to know that..
I love you and i sincerely do...
From beginning to the end<3

13 days, goodbye 21...:(

Fades...

2009-08-24T02:27:00.011+08:00

Its too short and sweet to be dump and its too long and precious to get it ditch...
Nothing is easy in life so i shall let it be....If its meant to be like this,i shall put on my smile and walk away...If it is hard for you then im willingly helping you to make it easy..:)

Never i regret having such challenges dashing across my life this much..I learn through the hard way and i will carry on perservere all this craps...Having friends bitching about others here and there, and worse they are a bitch themselves.
Unexpectedly, these people are just like snakes having two heads.You want people to be nice to you,love you and stay with you,but you urself living in your own world with full of shits!

The sincere ones...
Once again you guys came knocking at my door and gives me the opportunity to be a stronger girl internally...For i am just a friend that cant ask for much but im willing to give you more than just a pat on your back or even a smile to brighten up ur sour day...

Im working out and planning what needs to be done to make my life better.
Nothing stops me from thinking...
For if it is true, im glad to hear...
Ill smile and pray...
Once the new one comes along, the old ones fades away....

seribu memories...

2009-08-20T02:19:00.004+08:00

ahhhh...im back from work now and im shagged out from closing shifts...*eyes closing*

But its okie....i did my runs today and i swear sprinting makes me go nuts!Thanks ehk!You ask me to accompany you to run end up u ask to sprint with you!kentot kau! and i sprain my hamstring while i did my 3rd set of running and 4 times of 100m interval sprinting! mcm nk maki ajer..:(( it was fun anyway..nothing beats this cocky idea to train back someone's leg and stamina lah konon!GERAM AKU!

Im here as a neutral friend..i dont come and snatch away friends cuz its all up to individuals to decide who exactly they are comfortable with and they want to be with..and as for me..i love my friends especially those who damn hardcore down to earth ones...i dont mind being alone cuz wen ure alone sometimes, that's the best time you learn how to solve your problem urself and be dependant on ownself...dont be scared to be alone cuz wen u die later, u die alone, u answer all the questions alone..so now better get prepared k?:))

Why do you have to pretend?why do you have to deny?Just to put up a strong front and you know ure not strong enough?why do have to bitch about others wen u know ure the bitch urself?This is what i dont get it about human's...invest so little but demand for more...:((

To all my hardcore ironladies and ironman...(those in my list only, wanna noe who check out urself!)lol! Its nice to be given the chance to have friends like you guys around me...its nice sharing every bit of my experience in life with you guys...i cant afford to ditch any of you out of my life cuz u guys are my precious treasure i will keep with till i die...im still here if you need me, and ill come to you with my arms wide open....

If life isn't as great as it looks den stop denying that you are living ur life to the fullest or even you never felt better...just stop pretending..i dont care if u dun need me, i dont care if u hate me...i can be no one in you ever in ur history,but ure someone in my life and still im just watching you here from far and sending you all my prayers to make sure you are fine in life....insya'allah..

If one day, suddenly everything shutdowns in front of you...close your eyes...and remind urself of all the good things you could remember in life...that will soothe all the hurt away...nothing is wonderful than those memories you owned where it is exclusively only you who have it...:))

Goodnight friends...goodnight you.....goodnight myself....

Issues...

2009-08-19T02:20:00.002+08:00

Please..let me emphasise this once again dun come judge me if ure not good enough to judge who i am..You talk alot but u learn nothing about me, so i guess you shud fuck off and get a life..Learn who you are first before you could speak up about others..

Was in class today, and it was very funny tt i was in class but i took a time off from all the ppt again and went with fatin and zeeqah..and zaini and aidi tag along to window shop on aidi's new look i guess...but aidi, remember this, dun be a nonok k:)

Dearest Fatin..

Ure lucky to have syahmi, in fact ure lucky to have a guy who thinks like an adult, speak like an adult and behave like an adult at a very young age. And you shud take a every opportunity for what you have in ur possesion right to be a better person.. doesnt mean he's quiet he's not been doing any thinking, i bet he does, alot about you guys....He's the type of guy deserves my salute from the way he handle things and solve things..Ure lucky that he dont make you go around finding solutions to your problem yourself and he is always there to guide you even though i know its hard and irritating so much to see things repeat over and over again..tts norm and if u guys really wanna commit this is just part and parcel of relationship..Just think wat ive said to you this afternoon k love? siti syg fatin and syahmi...work things out slowly...dun waste the effort you guys have been holding from the very first start...

Rush back to holland..and........

I NEVER wanna say it here cuz its gonna be abit aweful if i would to say anything....but closing was great with Nurul, and she noes my sytle at work very well...we both do agree on this...true friends will stay but friends come and go easily even without we noticing it...so im so gonna be extra strong cuz i know nurul will always be there for me wen time are good or bad in my life..i mention this to Nurul and i didnt expect 2 same issue fall on to me at the same time..but im putting up strong front for all this issues, be it hard or easy...

Dearest Nurul,

From Farhan to Firdaus complications ure there to be my listening ear and never failed to worry about me..Im sorry if i ever make you worried about me when suddenly my life is so chaotic from one issue to another issue..And ur never ending advices will always be in my mind..Ure not my second hand friend but ure the true friend tt never leaves me...I swear, it was a heartbreaking session wen i spoke to you today about life and stuff..but im holding on to the faith that im left with currently...i just need a day with you and shop...sperry top sider or fred perry?let we decide again...:) But honestly, im touched wen u say u did miss me love..i miss the night u fetch me at wisma after my work and i miss the perangai kranji waiting for shah at civic..lol!! because of this 2 fellow u keep seeing me in trouble and sad...im sorry nurul...i love you nurul...:(

I wonder if i could still get the chance to meet masturina again, semester is over and im down with lots of shift...im wondering is she doing fine?

Dearest Masturina,

Maybe i might not be there now currently, i felt the missing of a bestfriend in my life..im so busy with life yet i cant stand school modules. I wish i could spend another night with you dancing on the dancefloor, another saturday afternoon keeping me comfort with your warmth hugs and kisses..mas, im sure i miss you alot..if my absence make you feel im leaving you its all not true, in fact im very much busy with my work and i can hardly wake up for morning classes. Im not a different person, is just im pretty much busy with my work and debts tt i need to clear. I do hope i could sit down with you again and hug you like before and laugh our asses off..I will always remember the night we went to st james and you said tt u never felt better talking to me cuz we are just like sister and we do experience the same thing in life by the side of vivo bay...masturina, i love you..i love you alot..please do take care of urself dearest love..muackss:(

Im just not happy with certain things but as everybody knows, i will keep quiet about these issues and i hardly get intimidated by all this craps..because i know im not wrong/and i know what im doing..im not going to give up on things...persevere!!Lastly, why am i the still person people need when they said before, they dun need me? do you know its hurtful...?i just wanna say, dun make me say its too late for everything...cuz for as long i still have my patience with me, grab the chance to realise your stupid mistake...i tot the place i call home is my beautiful home, but it now it slowly turns out to be a haunted house now...

Day goes by....

2009-08-18T02:02:00.000+08:00

Longer...consistent...persevere..nothing can stop me from this!:))
Apology accepted rhoma...(Siape yang dah lain skrg??!!,kan aku dah marah):)
Loving Khairah, yor care towards me is much appreciated,Sayang Kamu<3
Ruzaini for appreciating me all the time..and mummy sayang kamu jugak!<3
Sukashi and aidi kepala butoh tk abis2,biler mau sayang2?!:D
Another chance to get to set route for fatin,rena and zeeqah again..:p
The closing partner that i want to work with all the time!NURUL FAZLIANA!:))
Part time shift manager?Will Uncle Jason agree?
School...gawd!dont talk about it..im LOA from borrrriiinnnggg school!:(
Mat rempit sejati! perahhhhhh......taking care loh!

Dont be too complacent to all the happiness you own now..
Because wen the time is up, HE will take back everything from you...<3

Try harder....

2009-08-17T00:58:00.001+08:00

You can really try hard to run away from me but you can never be able to hide things from me..And finally, my piece of sincere advice, stop pretending...
when you deal with me, you have no choice...and lastly, i give you no choice...so there's no choice of you to run away from me... lau aku salah aku lari jauh2 y, tapi lau aku tk salah aku stay depan biji mata kau pasal aku tk takot dgn kesalahan...i dont wanna bring up every little details about you and me here cuz, if i share people wont believe me,not until they experience it by themselves..so lets play fair game, ill share abit and let the rest explore themselves...

Someone told me this, manusia lau dah terberak kat tgh jln, mane dier nk mengaku..dier buat dek suah..!!hahaha but i guess tts true..well said my love...Some people might not noe what really happen about anything, if u dun noe den dun come judge me and jgn mcm PHM..nk tau cerita meh dtg duduk minom kopi dgn aku siap oreo cheesecake lagi y...

The most important thing, im still standing tall right here and waiting for the right day to proceed with my life...thanks to people like masturina,zaini,khairah,etty,fatin,sukashi,aidi,aidil and my dearest sister...

Let me say this once and for all...
You dont know what you want cuz you cant decide, you dont know who you are cuz u make people confused by who you are..and stop saying others change when you dont see that ure the one that change...im sorry, i gotta be mean this time cuz you dont know how to appreciate friends and good things around you..you can hate me but i never hate you...

Inilah persahabatan....

2009-08-10T15:36:00.003+08:00

Persahabatan itu
augerah
persahabatan itu
persaudaraan sesama insan

Persahabatan itu
terjalin apabila
terjadinya pertemuan

Persahabatan itu
adalah persaudaraan
yang akrab
atas dasar-dasar
ketulusan keikhlasan kejujuran
dan erti persahabatan yang
tulus suci berpaksikan keimanan

Dan persahabatan itu
adalah amanah
seorang sahabat
di dalam menjalinkan
persahabatan.....

Idiot!

2009-08-04T12:04:00.002+08:00

Stupid scoundrels!

I hate liars, i hate hypocrites!

Why must you lie to me???WHY??

Knape nk kene tipu aku den aku dpt tau?Tk ke bodoh name nyer tu?

If you are honest with me, i wont be mad arh...

This cater to all the people who thinks im stupid enough to be fool..

Im not gonna say much cuz, im sick and tired of drama mama,

enough of melayu punyer sandiwara...*middle finger in front of your face*.

Jangan sampai aku mangkok, aku jadi mcm sial...aku tgh sabar ehk...

members,brothers, sisters, mother, fuckers aku dah tk heran...!

Dun turn me into an ugly monster..Aku baik jgn pijak kepala aku k?

Perangai yg aku pangkah jgn tunjuk kan aku, nanti dtg aku nyer

bastard menyesal hidup kau aku buat! nk ajer aku sumpah!Arggggghhhhh!!!!

FUCK OFF!!

p/s: Do you noe i noe that ure lying in front of my face??u dun, dont you?From the day you lied i noe i cant trust you and on the same day i noe ure lying?Like i said, if you wanna kill me make sure, im dead...but if im still alive get urself prepared to be knocked out hard by me k?

I FUCKING CANT FORGIVE YOU DESPISE MY WHOLE LIFE!

slow and steady...

2009-08-03T13:34:00.005+08:00

Alhamdulilah...i think my patience is well paid off...I went through a very hard time for the past 2 months..Maybe HE really wanna test patience after my break up...it is so hard till i really feel im half dead and i have no direction in life..But i swear...today is the most happiest day after so long ive been waiting...Dun get me wrong, i have no new boyfriend,nothing got to do with man but about my life...

Im way a happy girl today...and i hope i am happier tommorow, next month and until end of this year...Thanks to people who really loves me like how i love them...Thank you for staying with me...be by my side and see me cry almost every day and night...YESTERDAY WAS HELLL!! but today....I SURVIVE..! I always believe in miracles and karma...

Ive climb so many mountains, and the worse part is i always be the one keep on falling from the climb...i think i climb well this time, slow and steady...make use my stamina well and all the skills i have...yes arh! this time i can do dyno on this mountain not anymore normal climbing dude!

Thank you to people who make me suffer..i really thank you..thanking you for making me to be more strong and give my all in life with no limits.. I never regret for what ive done,never regret wat ive lost..cuz i believe, ive done my part till today i still do it...but can you see it?no right...

I will keep on smilling...smilling to you...and i do hope you will smile at me back if you regain back ur vision...(my smile is asking for serenity)I will keep my cool and stay stronger and hold my patience.

Ure high up, im way below..but im prepared...

ehk miss arh!

2009-08-02T02:43:00.003+08:00

Because im late waiting for people,i only get to watch the fireworks last minute...but truely,thank you...from the bottom of my heart...i guess i just enjoy the fireworks too much i neglect everyone behind,in front and beside me...lol!!! Couldnt be bothered couples kissing beside me under the fireworks..cuz i believe im happier watching the brilliant fireworks without being interrupted with any kisses...after fireworks can kiss2 k?semaklah...no wonder there's alot hogging during fireworks..

I dont believe in nothing is impossible in life..If things gotta happen, it have to happen..The things is, does my face look arrogant?nah...im just neutral..Dun judge by my look cuz i aint that kind of person. The possibility that things will happen according to prediction is medium to high possibility..But yet, assumption is bad...so lets just have fun and shoppin'...again..i waste the cash on zara and esprit..but tts all i can do to get it of the pain im holding on...

girls + shoppin' = everything!!

Wanna win this heart..?gotta to do it the hard way now...it aint easy how people think...for now, this time...it hurts alot!!!alot!!!cuz i just realise..wen im totally in trouble and deep2 problem, im here putting things up alone..no one is beside me to give the support..haiya! UNFAIR!..but im cool...for as long im still alive, ill work on things slowly...i feel biased and unfairly treated..

To whoever it may concern....

For all i care...im ready to be killed, and im well prepared this time...wanna see me fall, better do it dilligently, if i can still run and alive, let me say this to you.."watch your back, cuz wen im after you this time i give no mercy." wanna kill me make sure im totally dead and dun find me still breathing...

You and me, we are done pretending...

Should i or shouldnt i.....?

2009-07-26T19:25:00.003+08:00

10 times you deny about it, 10 times i will say RUBBISH to you!Should i say you are lying to urself for all this while?i think i should...here i am climbing hard...really hard...but wat did i get back in results? all this nonsense cock things...dont have to go around the bushes and making people go round and round with your behaviour..See for yourself, who is making you round and round? isnt it you yourself? Wake up...seriously...yeah true enough im old...(im only 22 years old.!)but look into my eyes, do you think i dun understand you enough? haiz...till today, till this time...where are you?out there missing someone else maybe?haiz...:(

I noe many people out there think im so wateva..but i noe wat im doing...seriously...if other people can arh walk off and moved on with life so easily.. from my opinion the reason they moved on easily is because to them this part of enjoyment..but me..hell no....if im unsure what i want, that wat the hell i hold on to things at the very first...?haiyo!!!pening arg kepala otak aku yg dah nk mati nie!(ouh yar..someone call me otak mati..:)) its okie..you can never wanna hear my penjelasan..i accept it...:)

Now..the whole point here is..do i deserve to be like this after all ive heard over the past 2 months? Is he serious?or is he just treat this as a norm? have i wasted my time, strength,energy for our relationship? can he remember,every single thing ive sacrifice for him?DID HE?? haiz...Nobody noe arh..seriously...if i would to share...it wont come to an end...all i have to do now is to keep on smilling and keep my cool...tell me lah...should i forgive or shouldnt i? way too much....very very very much hurtful.... if i could scream at you now i would scream directly at your face..haiz...

Havent i love you enough?Havent i give you enough? why issit me that will not get the chance to love you again...?isnt it suppose to be me saying that to you?stop spinning your own head with your behaviour...take a chance, make a change...

I shall take a slow pace...once again..thanks to my dearest friends...i didnt realise that ive been picking up myself so much till today...i will carry on picking every pieces that's left for me...i will pick it up...then i will decide, should i just throw it away and treat it as rubbish or should i keep it in my heart...

Too much things now...

2009-07-21T14:06:00.003+08:00

Where shall i start??

Didnt do much things last weekend besides spend good time catching things up with sb hv family on friday. Listen to all their sighing and complaining before Jason came over to our chalet at night. ..never ending problems...thank you for the never ending advices and giving me the best solution to solve things one at a time. Saturday, another day with the homies to Ubin for cycling...gawd! trying i shud say...but fun and also keeping ourselves fit and away from all the usual lepaks we usually do...hahaha..!at last something new...Sunday, was Lala and Mimie's wedding, went for their wedding and head back home...maybe im too tired from the cycling event at ubin...

Ive been very2 busy lately...busy with work juggling my time with friends in school, work, family, my physical training and all..im stress...im down suffering some awkward feeling in me...im trying hard to avoid all this awkward feelings..Fatin ask me why ive not been climbing, the answer and reason is very clear...firstly, because of him and the next thing is my working commitment...i wish things dun happen for the past 2 months..wish he dun go and layan and tell me wats going on,wish i dun scold him...wish the break up didnt happen..maybe i shall stay for climbing...i dun climb because of him..firstly, let me clear this up...ive always wanted to climb ever since im in ITE Mcpherson..I did overcome alot of things ever since i step my feet into Climb!Republic..but now everything seems awkward and change...Somehow, im not anymore in the team...dun noe why but i felt tt way...but i continue to smile..thanks to people who actually still wants me to climb..Thank you fatin and aidil...I will take to consider again...with my problems im carrying right now, i think i need to prioritize my needs..I need cash to clear my due bills in 3 months..so yar..maybe after this 3 months of hectic schedules i will climb again...

Maybe people might ask around...siti busy kerja?ader time pulak kuar dgn the homies..dgn budak climb tk nk kuar.. Let me say this, its very difficult to face someone you ever love with, use to have the same interest as you, same class as you and used to be very close to you...He's just like ur homie, lover and a friend...i walk off from the climbers just to make him comfortable..I love the climbers...but im so sorry that i cant be there wen we both have to sit with you guys...i noe where i stand in the team...I dun want this to happen...but im truly sorry climb!republic...

Im healing myself with my own way...i believe this hurt wont last long...it will heal in awhile..holding on to this broken till its truly cure...I will still remember you in my prays and i hope ure always find and smile all the time...

Rocky Life...

Time is running out..

2009-07-14T19:30:00.004+08:00

Where shall i start?

Aite..been busy lately with friends and work especially.

Been working lots of shift this few days just to pay up may 1500++ bill!

Gawd!troublesome...but yar...i did look for another part time job currently and luckily have lots of contact and see..rezeki dimana2..time is running out so fast and i believe its a good time for me to occupy myself with better things to do...

Im at work now, waiting for to clock in for shift. For goodness sake..im working closing till Thurs with sheena loo...haiz..but its okie...i will enjoy my fri nite with my SBHV family at east coast for the store chalet and i guess ill be meeting ayim mok at tampines do some a little catching up with him and so then ill proceed to east coast chalet!!yeay!! Saturday morning will be a cycling day out with the homies to ubin..LOL...so much things to do...hope ill pick up myself faster each day...Sunday will be my buddy camilla and mimie wedding..i shall come and be there for their prestiges wedding reception...BLACK for me on that day...!

Have i given up?

No answer for that...cant tell right now...maybe im not gonna show any expression or wateva..Maybe it will show somehow or rather..just stay tune...I can still feel the existance of him in my heart..but wen i try to feel it, its like so far away...

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